The Savvy Brunette

Favorite quotes of the moment. Great advice.

2012-01-18T21:08:00.002-06:00

Here are some quotes that I love and some that I really needed to read. Sometimes things in life seem a lot more heavy then they are and all we need is to read an inspirational quote to make us realize what life is all about!! Please enjoy!!

Also come find me on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/msnycole/

29 things to do before 30....yikes one more year in my 20s!

2012-01-12T20:05:00.000-06:00

Many of these will stay the same as last year because I was not very good at crossing things off. I'm going to be better this year.

GET IN SHAPE…shed some extra lbs. I dropped 18 in 2011...my goal is to double that this year! Trying Weight Watchers this year so lets see how that goes!!
Go to the gym at least 2-3 times a week to start and then work up to 3-5 times a week.
Enjoy life…figure out what my “happiness” is and how to start traveling towards it.
Date a better quality of men. Stop thinking my happiness can be answered with a guy.
Visit my family in Ohio more. A few measly times a year is not acceptable especially now that I'm an Aunt.
Be a good Aunt. Spoil my nephew, Charlie. I will be sending him Michigan Wolverines football gear and balls so he can start his path towards becoming a Wolverine.
Continue down my career path in sales in the internet industry somewhere where I can make more money and feel secure and happy.
Make some new friends!
Travel to Miami to see my bestie Devon.
Get a passport and take a real vacation
Get a new car!! It's way past due.
Blog more.
CHILL OUT...stop stressing about everything. I cannot control it all.
Figure out if leaving Chicago is the right thing for me to do.
Take more pictures to remember the great memories with those I care about.
Go to a Michigan Wolverines football game.
Stop shaving and start getting waxed.
Stop being so hard on myself. Find ways to relax. No one benefits from being their own worst enemy.
Visit Napa Valley it looks beautiful
Cook more. I want to learn how to cook new things and get creative.
Find new ways to smile on my own.
Find some hobbies.
Get a new tattoo.
Clean more often. I hate it but damn my place gets dusty.
Experience more in Chicago. More festivals, museums, events...whatever!
Try new kinds of food.
Try to gradually teach myself to like spicy food. (I'm a wuss now).
Don't worry so much about what others think.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Look at the big picture not the momentary rough patches!

Here's to hoping that I do better this year and find a way to be proud of myself by completing my goals!!

Family...they are everything!

2011-12-28T21:11:00.001-06:00

Everytime I come back from Ohio I miss my family. Now this time I have even more to miss...my super adorable little nephew! He is the cutest kid ever and I'm not just saying this because he's my nephew. I mean come on look at him!! I never thought I would love a little kid so much. I'm not the girl who craves motherhood or holding babies. In fact holding babies freaks me out, but when I got to Ohio for the holidays I instantly loved that little guy. I got to babysit him twice and it's fun but wow it's not easy. I give my sister so much credit. She is an amazing mother and works so hard to provide for her little one. She's so young herself but so mature! I can't wait to see my nephew and family more often. I'm going to try to go home more this year do I can see my family and watch him grow.

I also realized that I need to spend more time with my grandparents. They're the most special people in my life and they are fragile. While I was home my grandfather was in the ER and had surgery on Christmas. It was the scariest thing. He is ok now and I feel that we got a Christmas miracle they day.

My family is filled with strong people. My grandparents, sister, mom and now my nephew are all so important to me. I want to be a better family person and be there more so they know how much I love and need them.

Friends...having great ones or a lot of them?

2011-12-03T18:56:00.000-06:00

When my birthday came knocking I became kind of emotional. Not even because I was turning 29 (I don't look it so it doesn't stress me out) but because I thought I hadn't made enough friends in my "old age". When it came time to create the invite list for dinner it was pretty short. Up until a good friend gave me a good mental shaking I was really sad and started to think that maybe I had made a mistake by not taking the time to make more friends over the years. I realized when my friend gave me the "mental shake" that it was so much more important to have a handful of friends you could truly count on then have a huge group of friends to that could just fill a table at a birthday party but would never be there if you needed them.

I see people with large groups of friends but really how many of those people can you count on to help you through anything. Those are the people that count. The rest are just filler. I think it's important to always continue to make great quality friends but my being emotional about it really wasn't necessary I realized. So many more things to stress about in life. I chose to not talk to people from high school because frankly I have nothing in common with them and it just does not really interest me in the least. I keep contact with my closest college friends.

Sometimes it takes a bit of an irrational moment to really wake us up and help us see what really matters. I should know...I have my fair share of irrational moments but I believe in learning from my mistakes and being honest with myself no matter how hard it is to get to the point where you can learn.

Almost 29...time to reflect on this past year

2011-11-14T21:53:00.000-06:00

I am almost TWENTY-NINE years old! I created a 28 things to do while I am 28 list and I want to reflect on those things and see what I can improve upon for 29! 28 was not a great year for me but I want to brush it to the side and take on the world at 29. Making notes next to my old list will really help me be accountable for knowing what I want and not going for it.

28 THINGS TO DO WHILE I AM 28

GET IN SHAPE…shed some extra lbs. I actually dropped 15 lbs in the span of this year. I need to get back to the gym though so I don't pack them back on!
Enjoy life…figure out what my “happiness” is and how to start traveling towards it. Still haven't figured this out but I am working on it :)
Date a better quality of men. No more D-bags for age 28!! Ah....lets just say I hit rock bottom with this so yet again another year to look forward to it being better.
Visit my family in Ohio more. A few measly times a year is not acceptable!! I didn't have a lot of chances to go home but I did make a surprise visit to see my brand new nephew.
Make some new friends! I definitely did that this year and am looking forward to making many more.
Travel to Miami to see my bestie Devon. I didn't get to do that this year nor did I get to see NYC #7.
Travel to NYC to see my good friend Nicole and just see NYC for the first time
Start a new career path, one that will be the one I was meant to travel one. I DID IT!! I made it into the internet industry in sales. Finally #8 I can check you off. I truly hope that this opportunity really launches a better me and a better future.
Get over my fear of flying, or at least make an attempt and get on a plane. Another one that I did. I took a trip to NC for work! This was perfect because I couldn't even think twice about flying. I had to do it!
Get a new car!! Vroom Vroom. Not even close to this....but my old girl is hanging in there.
Waste less time online tweeting & facebooking. I realized social media isn't a waste at all and the time I spend online doing it is very valuable. I met a lot of great business people and friends!! Social media rocks and I'm going to continue to stalk it ;)
Blog more (not a waste of online time). I unfortunately was so bad at that this past year but I want to get better. I want to have guest bloggers and more followers. I love hearing feedback.
Volunteer for a nonprofit that I actually care for. Still have somewhat of a bad taste in my mouth from nonprofit and the complete disgracefulness that I have seen behind doors. I'm going to continue to take a break for now and just work on me as a person.
Look into becoming a mentor to kids. On the To Do list of the future. Becoming a better me first can only benefit everyone in the future.
Get a new tattoo or two. “Just Breathe” first' Not yet but it will happen. Refer back to #1...gotta get my ass in shape first lol.
Drink a lot less pop, like 75% less than what I drink now. This has been tough. My pop drinking is at an all time high right now but now that I'm looking at this I'm going to put the pressure on myself
CHILL OUT...stop stressing about everything. Life will work out. Hahaha....will I ever do this? It's just my nature.
Convince my roommate to sign a 2nd year lease in our townhome :) Aww...he did but then he had to leave for work. Miss him!
Find some hobbies that get me out and enjoying life. Spent some more quality time with friends just having good conversation.
Go to more festivals and Chicago activities. I think I did that this past year. Got out to some unique events this year.
Wear a dress. Ok this sounds weird but I have been wearing one a year and it was for a gala I did, and now that I'm no longer involved I need to really push myself to do this. Haha not gonna happen once during age 28.
Let my family and friends know how much they mean to me. I really hope they know this but I do tell them frequently. I even like to tell them on FB sometimes to embarrass them lol.
Take more pictures to remember the great memories with those I care about. Still need to do more of that.
Go to a Michigan Wolverines football game. I didn't get to do that but I have truly enjoyed a kick ass season!
Stop shaving and start getting waxed..I know TMI, but hey it's MY list :) Need to switch over 100%.
Add a few colors other than black into my wardrobe. Color has entered my wardrobe lol. There will be more to come but I just love black I can't help it.
Stop having so many phobias and face my fears and overcome them. I'm still a wuss...this will go on my next list lol.
Vote for Rahm Emanuel to be the next Mayor of Chicago!! I DID!! He won!!

Items in blue are completed.

Items in red were not done but lets not give up!

29 THINGS TO DO WHILE 29....coming soon!

One week ago we met...and it's been love ever since ;)

2011-10-21T22:36:00.000-05:00

Don't get too excited...I'm talking about my new iPhone 4s. Don't judge me ;) I definitely am loving my new phone. I thought I would have the shakes after parting ways with my Blackberry but I can't think of one reason why I'd want to go back to Blackberry. Not just that but I went back to Verizon after 7 years and I'm happy to say all is well on that end. T-Mobile was an absolute nightmare. I won't say Verizon is perfect...it's been a week but so far so good!!

FAVORITE APPS SO FAR:
Facebook
Twitter
Foursquare
Google Maps
Blogger
Instagram- such an awesome ap for pictures.
The Weather Channel
Flashlight
My Verizon
iMailG (for my work email)
RedEye
HuffPost
Chicago Trib
LinkedIn
GrubHub
Yelp
Groupon
SportsCenter

APPS I DOWNLOADED TODAY TO CHECK OUT:
WhosHere
My Disk
PhotoFunia
Flixlab
Backgrounds
ColorSplash
Big Button
Pic Frame
postagram
Photogram

Are you an iPhone user? What am I missing?!

29...wow

2011-10-13T22:54:00.000-05:00

Wow 29 is creeping closer, it's about a month away. My birthday that is. I can't say that I am ready for it. This morning I spent some serious time thinking about whether or not I was going to celebrate it. My hesitation was that yet another year older and not closer to what I really want in life. I decided that it's much better to look at it as an end to a rough year, and a new year where I have unlimited opportunity. Sometimes I think birthdays are much better starts than New Years. The older I get the more I realize I don't know whats next. I cannot control things as much as I thought I would be able to. I think I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself because I don't have the power to wiggle my nose and make things happen. Maybe age at 29 I will finally give myself a break and maybe taking a step back and a deep breath will help me get to where I need to be this year....where ever that may be.

The Fear of What's Next...

2011-10-01T21:25:00.000-05:00

The fear of what comes next has always been a big one for me, especially when I cannot plan it ahead of time. I have spent too much time in life trying to super plan every step of my life when I think I need to just take a step back and find the right opportunity. It may not fit into the plan that I already have but quite frankly that plan is as flawed as they come. I thought long and hard about what was most important. Before it was living in Chicago and finding an opportunity here. I think I was looking at things wrong. The best opportunity needs to come first. I think I may have to be ready to take a risk and maybe even make a move to really find success.

I have a fear of what will happen next and where will it take me. I know I have to stop living so close to safety though. Moving across the United States may be what it takes. I may be that woman climbs to the top of the most amazing companies, but that for sure is not going to come to me. I have to work hard to go to it and find it. The idea of moving absolutely frightens me especially because I do not know many people in other main cities. I just want what is best for myself and my family. I want to see them more and regardless of distance, I have to be able to afford the trips. I do not want to be paying Sallie Mae off for the rest of my life. I want to pay Sallie Mae off while I can still enjoy life. I want to buy a new car. These are all things I cannot do when I jump from small opportunity to small opportunity, time for something great. Age 29 is quickly approaching, its time to really take the wheel back and control my life and not cruise through. Wish me luck :)

Should parents be friends with their kids on Facebook?

2011-09-24T18:13:00.000-05:00

I was just watching the news and a clip of a press conference came up of an angry mother who was telling everyone that if you child has nothing to hide then they should let you be their Facebook friend. This made me thinking, do kids really have to "friend" their parents on Facebook. Isn't Facebook sort of the modern day diary? I'm 28 so there was no Facebook when I was younger, I had diaries. So isn't friending your parent like handing them a pass to see your diary? I think it is. You're not necessarily going to put your deepest darkest secrets on Facebook, but kids surely get close enough. When I was working at a school I would see kids pages that had pictures of them drinking and much more that would completely frighten me if I was a parent. I think kids are doing way more than they should and their parents should do better policing of them but I do not know if being their Facebook friend is really going to make a difference. I see it from both sides. Parents should absolutely want to know what is going on in their kids lives but I think this is where they need to do better parenting and help their children trust them so that they can talk to them. Don't scare your kids so much that they won't talk to you and don't be their best friends so that they do not fear you. Bottomline is that Facebook is not the answer and it won't give you all the answers that you need.

College athletes should not be paid

2011-09-18T22:22:00.000-05:00

Everytime someone brings this up, I admit I am a tad disgusted. College athletes are paid. They get free room, board, food. They don't really have bills during college. A free degree isn't payment enough? I know my degree cost me over $60,000 and by the time I pay it off it will have been doubled so about $125,000. So that isn't worth it to them? It's complete bullshit. Not only that but if you think of college sports like a regular business, most regular businesses make a ton of money off of their hardest working employees who don't make nearly enough. So guess what....welcome to the real world. You get a free degree for all your hard work. That is the trade off. You do not deserve to get paid. People have been working for way less than their worth since working began, it is basically just how life is. I don't know why this is so shocking or such relevant now a days. I agree that it should be punished and not considered.

Lesley Ryder of the Huffington Post made a great point, "Depending on the school, a full scholarship can be worth upwards of $200,000. A free degree (especially from a prestigious university) in this economic climate is a godsend. It's hardly slave labor." [article found here:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lesley-ryder/pay-college-athletes-_b_968479.html ]

I really want to know everyone's thoughts on this though. Please share!

Kindness to a stranger

2011-09-14T20:14:00.000-05:00

Have you ever considered how a moment of your time and your kindness could mean the world to someone. I never really thought about it on this level before but it's true. You never know when your kindness could help someone desperately in need of perspective and a few positive words. A few words could snap someone out of a negative state and bring them back down to reality.

One day, on the train I was watching the most touching interaction between an older man and a young man. The older man had just gotten off of work and looked so tired. The younger man looked like he just got off a plane with his luggage and he looked down. The older man struck up a conversation with the young man and it led the young man to saying that he had screwed up. His demeanor was even sadder than before. It was like he just revealed a huge secret to this man. The older man told him to hang in there and things get better. He told him that we live in a microwave society and all of the young people want what they want right now. He tried to explain to the young man that life did not always deliver immediate results. I started to see the younger man straighten up his stance and look a little more freed of his stress and frustration.

When the young man got off the train I took his spot standing by the door and I told the older man that what he did was great. The fact that he took his time to share his wisdom really helped that young man out. I also told him that I loved the term microwave society. It is one of the truest things I have ever heard. We all do want what we want immediately. I am very guilty of living a life with little patience. The man and I continued to talk until I got to my stop. He was very genuine and kind. Society is missing that easy, yet very genuine conversation that strangers have when waiting patiently to get somewhere. We no longer wait anywhere patiently and we do not give strangers the time of day.

When I was in my early 20s I would always say hi to passing people and smile to give off warmth and not have such a cold self-involved demeanor. Now that I am in my late 20s I realized not too long ago that I completely stopped doing that years ago. I stopped without giving it a though, probably because most hellos were not returned. But why should that matter if they are returned, who cares. If you make one person smile because you are being nice for no good reason than it is totally worth it. A good friend of mine is great at saying hello to everyone and spreading her positive attitude by simply acknowledging people and saying hi.

Challenge yourself to say hi to at least five people that you don't know everyday. You don't have to go home with them or anything but say hi in passing. See if they say hi back. If they do, you might be surprised at how refreshing it feels to share a positive moment with someone. Even if you may never see them again. We as a society need to regain perspective, we do not have to do everything to get something in return for it. And if you do, think of the return being making someones day.

Oh and by the way....HI!!

New found respect for Khloe K.

2011-06-18T23:49:00.000-05:00

Khloe always seems to get the flack because she's the Kardashian the stands out and isn't perfect like the other girls. I love her business savvy and her heart. Also, she will do and say anything. I wish I had that capability...I'm a total wuss lol.

The one thing that bugs me about all the gossip news is when they talk so poorly about this girl, Khloe is not big or fat. Give me a break people. This is why normal women have so many self-esteem issues. If a girl whose like a size 4 or whatever is fat then what are the real women suppose to do with ourselves. Ouch.

The fact that her mother, Kris, is giving her flack about her weight is horrible. I felt so sorry for Khloe when she broke down and just started crying because she isn't happy with herself. I couldn't imagine what it's like in the spotlight and also having perfect sisters. I felt so bad that she was sad.

Also, I heart Lamar. Their reality show has made me love them as a couple. I think my favorite part of the season was when he farted and said that was like dusting I almost spit out my drink. He seems like the biggest dork which is so much fun.

Ahh...I've been neglecting my blog...

2011-06-11T23:05:00.000-05:00

Ok seriously...the image I choose is so random how could I not pick it ha!

I have spent way too much time away from my blog. I miss it! I have had so much on my mind I haven't been able to focus my energies on it. No more neglecting though hopefully.

So the last few months as everyone knows I was unemployed...and by FEW I mean EIGHT!! Yes, eight whole months. It was pretty crazy but I made it through, thanks to supportive family and friends. I had some great friends that got me out of the house and didn't let me wallow or think about it too much. I do have to say I miss sleeping in but that's about it. I also am not loving public transportation again but I guess that's just part of life.

So as I started to elude to...I GOT A JOB. Finally!! After my job was eliminated in nonprofit it was the perfect time to really take a look at what I wanted in life. I had grown and climbed the nonprofit ladder until I landed myself into a vice president role. It was not fulfilling to me though and financially I never would have had an opportunity to enjoy life and travel or do anything truly extra. I'd be climbing slowly out of college debt forever if I stayed in nonprofit. So with my job ending I took some time to really think hard about what I wanted. I looked at my friends job and career which I had always admired and really wondered...why can't that be me. Well guess what it can be eventually. So I set out to find a job in the .com industry in sales. Not only did I do that but I did it with the fastest growing internet company EVER. Very cool. I'm sure I'll be sharing a lot of stories about my new company. At this time I've had one week of training and all is good. I have a base salary + commission which is totally new to me. I'm excited to take on the challenge of making commission and really performance based money! I've always performed very high but never ever been rewarded for it financially.

Stay turned for more .com work stories!!

Life in prison for murderer of Gayle's girlfriend

2011-05-22T16:22:00.005-05:00

Not too long ago I watched the 20/20 episode with Shaun Gayle (Former Chicago Bears player); the Rhoni Rueter story. This was a really sad story because not only was a woman gunned down by her boyfriends crazy lover; but she was pregnant and the baby died as well. Just this week they sentenced the murderer; Marni Yang to two life sentences back to back with no chance of parole. When someone commits such a calculated heinous crime it's almost relieving to hear that justice took such a major stance and really did away with such a horrible human being.

Chicago Breaking News: Life in prison for murder of Gayle's girlfriend

Marni Yang was sentenced to life in prison this morning for gunning down the pregnant girlfriend of former Chicago Bear Shaun Gayle, with the judge citing the “methodical, meticulous and maniacal manner in which you committed this crime.”

Judge Christopher Stride handed down two life sentences with no parole, to run concurrently, for the death of Rhoni Reuter and her unborn child in Reuter’s Deerfield condominium on Oct. 4, 2007.

Yang showed no reaction, sitting almost motionless.

I remember when I was watching this story on 20/20 I couldn't help but think how crazy the entire situation was. Shaun Gayle and Rhoni were together for 18 years and they never married. In those 18 years her family said they only met him four times, which just shows how much of a real couple they were. Shaun says the couple had an understanding that they were in an open relationship. I immediately felt sad and confused, wondering how a woman could be in a noncommittal relationship with a man for 18 years and then want to carry his child in her 40s. I felt sorry for her, because Gayle seemed like a total womanizer but on the flip side she let him be.

When it first happened, Gayle was a suspect in this case not just to the police but to the Reuter family. Gayle immediately offered up several of his ex girlfriends names who hadn't taken it well over the years when he'd broken it off. Throughout his entire thought process not once did he think to mention Marni Yang, the crazy woman behind the plotted murders. When watching the show I couldn't tell if Gayle just like crazy women or if he was really screwing with women's heads to make them fall off the deep end. I think he was a total womanizer. I'm pretty disgusted at Shaun Gayle for sleeping with so many women and equally disgusted at the women for being ok with it. It seems like most of them knew.

Three weeks after the murder the searched Gayle's house and found that Marni Yang had been stalking Shaun's computer for 3 years by recording everything he did on the computer. The tool she used is often used by parents who want to keep track of what their children are doing. I've often wondered if I'd ever do this to a spouse just to see what type of person they were, or even better before they were a spouse. Yang saw every single email and everything Gayle did online. Not just that but Yang would get Gayle's phone bills and call all of the numbers on there. If that sounds crazy, that is only the tip of the iceberg; Yang would cancel flight and hotel reservations so he couldn't go visit other women.

Marni was telling all of her friends that her and Shaun were together in a relationship, which was not true considering he clearly didn't know what a relationship was. He did admit that they had slept together on several occasions. Once I heard this I was convinced that was leading all of these women on to think there was or could be more. Gayle seems like the scum of the earth, time to hang up your player towel....you're almost 50 years old. Eventually it came out that not only did Gayle sleep with Yang but he slept with her the NIGHT before the murder. Disgusting.

Yang was beyond crazy; she planned the murder and sat waiting on Rueter to leave for work. They say that Yang started to plan the murder the moment that she found out the Rueter was pregnant. There was nothing spur of the moment about this. Yang had all the tools she had purchased at a Home Depot and a disguise she had purchased at a local store. Originally some neighbors reported seeing a young black male fleeing the scene, when in actuality it was Yang in dark face paint and a disguise. Without the help of Yang's friend, I don't know if she would have ever been caught because she had it so planned out. The police had Yang's friend go to a meeting wired and Yang spilled all the details. So here is one of my problems; her friend knew Yang was planning this before it happened yet she's not in trouble. Whether or not she thought her friend was just talking out of anger she should have turned her in. This whole story was one of those twisted disgusting stories you hear that just doesn't sound real. From Gayle being a ladies man and sleeping with god knows how many women and then putting his child in danger, to the psycho woman who thought she was in a relationship and planned the murder of a woman and her unborn child.

If today really was the end...what would I do with it?

2011-05-21T23:56:00.000-05:00

So every nutty person in the world thought today at 6pm that the world might end. No one knew 6pm what time zone, but to crazies apparently time zones don't matter. Anyhow, it did make me think what would I want to do if I only had a day left. Answer to that would be to go home and spend it with my family. Call all my friends who are important to me and let them know what they meant to me and then just spend it with my family. They are the ones that mean the most to me and I'd want them to be the last people I saw. Oh...I'd also probably eat a ton of food that's horrible for me that I love since I've been eating so healthy lately lol.

What would you do?

BGSU in the lead to host Tosh.0 w/ HILARIOUS video!

2011-05-18T23:47:00.001-05:00

I hope BGSU wins. This video is great. Miss my old school....always an alumna though :) Go Falcons!!

Do people really want their ex's to be happy?

2011-05-05T01:39:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty sure if you asked a room full of men and women this question you'd probably get responses split down the middle. Personally I think everyone deserves happiness in their lives, even my ex's. I think they deserve to find happiness, even though for one reason or another they didn't end up making me happy. The thing is our ex's move on from our lives to make room for us to find the right one. I truly believe people enter our lives for a reason, sometimes it's to help us learn and sometimes its to cause hurt so we can become stronger. Either way, each relationship is a lesson to be learned if we pay close attention.

Maybe the bigger question should be whether or not we would be happy for an ex if they moved on and became happy. There is a major difference between being happy for someone and wanting them to be happy. I absolutely want my ex's to be happy but there will always be that part of me that thinks of all the mistakes they made that made me cry so why would I want to be happy for them. In the end I want my ex's to find happiness and because they are a part of my past I usually don't involve myself with their present. I can't say that I keep any of my ex's around as close friends because I realized it's better to learn and grow then learn and stay in the same place. Everything about my life is all about moving on and being better with each step. I don't really keep much of the past in the present for that reason. I don't really know how to respect people who spent energy lying to me. I don't think it's worthwhile. I have friends who keep close relationships with ex's and I absolutely don't understand. In fact I think it makes them look like the victim sometimes, like someone got the best of them. Maybe that's really what it is. I won't let someone make a fool of me or make me feel like hell and then give them the opportunity to be a friend. With all that said I do want everyone to find their own happiness, we all deserve it.

The Versatile Blogger Award

2011-04-29T17:09:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite bloggers and Twitter pals, Stephanie from The Single Slant has given me this wonderful honor :) I started my blog to just vent and ramble, so I always get a kick out of knowing that people actually like and read my blog. It's very appreciated...and surprising lol.

About Me (crud...this is always hard):

1) My senior year in high school I attended college full-time instead of going to high school. It's a program they have in Ohio for students excelling in HS who have at least a 3.5 GPA. It was a year of college fully paid for and I got to hang out with college kids and not boring high schoolers lol. Loved it! I also got all my books for free and when it was time to sell them back I actually made money back.

2) In 2010, I was honored with the Chicago Archdiocesan Impact Award; an award given to only one person in the entire Chicago area who makes a significant impact to their organization. My job was than eliminated at the end of 2010...I think this is what Alanis Morissette meant when she said "Isn't it Ironic?".

3) I'm kind of a nerd. I love the internet and the fact that it's ever changing. The fact that Facebook changes weekly doesn't annoy or frustrate me it interest and excites me because there are so many options in the digital world. This is why I want to make the switch to this industry.

4) I'm addicted, like truly need a meeting level addicted, to my Blackberry. I like being connected with social media especially twitter. It's back to #3 and that whole nerd thing. I just love that I can be so connected to people all over.

5) I don't want to ever carry a child. Whenever I talk with someone about this they say "you'll change your mind" or they think I'm crazy. There is something so natural to women to make them want this, and something so unappealing to me to make me not want this at all. I want to live my life and get married and be selfish with my husband. I think most people have kids because they think they should not even because they want to. I want to be able to do something spontaneously without needing a sitter. I think me being honest about it is so much better than knowing I'll go along with it for someone else.

6) I'm currently going through the toughest time in my life but I am choosing to stay as positive as possible. I have been unemployed for more than 7 months which is no joy, although sleeping in is amazing. Sometimes we have to suffer the bumps to really appreciate the victories to come and I think that is what's going on with me right now. It also helped me realize I really want to follow my dreams career wise.

7) Wow I got pretty heavy on a few of those...time to be light. I'm a total goofball. I love making people laugh and often times I laugh at myself even when no one else is (it's not my fault they don't get real quality humor).

I always find it so hard to choose my favorite bloggers because there are so many talented bloggers out there. One of which gave me The Versatile Blogger Award, so I think that means I can't officially pick Stephanie even though I love her blog The Single Slant (make sure to check her out). I read blogs everyday but I've chosen a few that I always enjoy

My Picks:

The Fashion Bomb Daily has some really great and very unique fashion. I love getting ideas from this site.

Terez Owens dishes up "Real Sports, Real Dirt"...I love sports but what I love even more...DIRT! G

Major Must Haves This girl has the absolute cutest style. I don't think she's worn an outfit that I don't want. I love blogs like this!!

NBA By A is such a great NBA blog, Allana knows her stuff! I love girls and sports blogs!!

Mrs. Windy City Unplugged is a great Chicago site for fashion and info on what's going on in the city and the writer Brandi is a really cool girl!

Reminders for my unborn daughter is such a touching blog written by a new friend and sister separated at birth Nhycol. Us "Nicole's" get creative with our spelling!!

Kattastic Ramblings I love this blog because it kind of reminds me of my own. Katrina has a lot of opinions and isn't afraid to share them!!

Take the time to check out all of these wonderful blogs!! You won't be sorry :)

Favorite song of the moment! Olivia- December

2011-04-18T16:25:00.001-05:00

I think Olivia is so talented. I really love her voice and this is a great song. I enjoy watching her on Love & Hip Hop. She seems like a really talented driven young woman. The guy in this video is crazy hot. He's got my weaknesses...tattoos and muscles. Definitely worth a watch!!

BTW I absolutely love Love & Hip Hop. I like Olivia and Chrissy, who is Jim Jones girlfriend, and maybe after the last episode his fiancé. We shall see. I'm not a fan of Somaya or Emily B, both of them are trying so hard and pretending to be something they're not. Somaya is a wannabe rapper with little to no talent, she does have a hot boyfriend though. Emily B is the baby mama of Fabolous and he doesn't claim their 8 year long relationship yet she swears by it. I just can't stand the lack of reality by the two of those women.

Snap out of it...

2011-03-10T21:26:00.000-06:00

Since this whole unemployment thing begun I can honestly say I have been in the weirdest head space. I'm happy yet overly stressed. The stress comes from lack of money and the happiness comes from the weight lifted that now I can find a job that could make me happy.

The thing with unemployment is that it's not easy OR excited. It's the same ole thing every single day. I'm not good at living the same life every single day in a Groundhogs Day style manor. The thing that has suffered the worse is my gym habit. I just haven't been in the mood to go at all lately, when in fact that is probably something that would really help the most. I plan to give myself a significant kick in the ass to get me back in the gym ASAP. My good eating habits are still pretty much going strong except I definitely cheat sometimes and that just makes me feel like I've wiped all the good away.

One of the hardest things, outside of going to the gym, is job searching every day. I'd equate it to working in an assembly line. Each day I wake up and go through all the tagged websites and apply to new jobs. I hear back from about 1% of them. So far I have had several interviews but I'm finding that a lot of these jobs are totally taking advantage of the unemployed. They want to pay absolutely unacceptable rates. I'd be better off to stay on unemployment at that rate. Which is what I am doing. I am very confident that the right thing is going to come along a lot sooner than later. I'm getting more interviews and more bites lately. Hoping for the best and avoiding the worst!

This is going to get....interesting

2011-03-01T22:15:00.001-06:00

This is going to get interesting and I'm not gonna lie...I'm ready to read while this man shows his down spiral.

BACKUP HILARIOUSNESS....PINK THROWS SALT ON THE CHRISTINA SITUATION...

Unemployment is no joke

2011-02-17T19:13:00.001-06:00

Wow so it has been FIVE months since I have had a job. I am not gonna lie this is the hardest time in my life. I have been unemployed before but this is huge because my loans have to be paid. No deferment or forbearance left to use. I have bills and expenses that do not understand or take a break for my unemployment.

I have said this before, my job being eliminated from the school was a good thing. Sounds weird, but it really was. I was miserable under the new management, because they were purposely trying to drive people out. Constant 8-5 negativity believe it or not is still worse than unemployment. It also gave me the push I need to figure out what I really want to do professionally and take the huge leap. Problem is that that leap is not easy nor is it definite. I cannot just jump into this new industry and say hire me. Believe me, I have been trying for the past several months. I have given it the most effort the past two to three months but still that is way too long to not be getting positive results. I have had a few interviews. Some of which just were not right for me or not enough money.

I am dying to break into the digital technology and media industry but it is so damn hard. I do not know how to kick a door open and get my foot into the right place. I am putting my resume out everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE. I found a few new sites to job hunt on this week and thats helping some. I need an ego boost because this really is giving me a pretty severe shot to the ego. Its hard to have had so much success professionally and than just fall off the map completely. From Vice President to unemployed is not the direction I have been killing myself for the past six years to take. I'm ready for positivity in my life and a great 2011. I sure hope its on its way very soon!!

Hi everyone...thanks for reading!!

2011-02-07T16:28:00.001-06:00

Snowpocalypse 2011: Chicago Edition

2011-02-02T23:51:00.000-06:00

I'm not gonna lie Snowpocalypse 2011 didn't have me too scared. I thought it would be like all other storms and we'd hear how scary it was going to be. Grocery stores would be crazy, people would be pushing. Then nothing would happen. Well this time it happened, we had all sorts of blizzard shit going on outside. It was snowing, winds were blowing 40+ mph, and the kicker....there was thunder and lightening.

When I woke up I saw my car under about a foot of snow and there was about a foot plus against my door. It was pretty crazy. We really were hit with some major snow.

Here are a few pics I took from my Blackberry!

Also check these out....

The 40 Most Amazing Pics of the Blizzard

Generally unhappy person sometimes

2011-01-12T00:39:00.000-06:00

I'm not going to lie and I'm not proud of this but I'm a generally negative person deep down. I don't want to be this way. I think I had this view on how my life should be and I have fallen so short up to this point that I can't help but be bummed out about it. I just read this really interesting article about how extremely intelligent people tend to be emotionally dysfunctional and also tend to be in jail and commit suicide. I'm not worried about the last two but I can for sure say I am emotionally dysfunctional. I wonder why its intelligent people who are emotionally dysfunc? Is it because we have such high expectations and when we don't measure up to them we are devastated? I kind of feel like that's how I am. Maybe I was emotionally dysfunctional first and intelligent because of that. I lost myself in school and always did well to avoid a lot of the real life stuff I was going through like never having a father.

This year I want to be better. I mean honestly do people think I want to be bummed about stuff. I don't want to have to worry about paying bills because I'm not working. I have a very strong resume but still no job after a couple months. I was let go from a job due to some very shady unethical behavior on part of the administration. I'm glad to be gone but I can't say any of it happened at a good time. It really is my goal this year to make changes and to be an overall happier person and not be so hard on myself when things aren't perfect. One of the things I am going to do is give dating a little break. I was getting super negative and annoyed with dating and finding a good guy so I just want to take a step back. I don't choose to be a perfectionist, it's something I have always been and it's something that has always brought me down if I am not doing as good as I need to be doing. I'm going to change and be better!!

Facebook is a lot, but what it's not is....

2011-01-07T20:25:00.001-06:00

It's not a place to reconnect with people you didn't want to be friends with in the first place. Ugh.. So I'm getting old which means it is my ten year high school anniversary this year. I'm fine with my age but have zero interest in going back to my high school to see what people are doing. I talk to very few people from high school and I do it that way on purpose. As of late there was a Facebook page created to promote the the planning of the reunion. Well now all of a sudden people from high school are trying to add me as a friend. As I mentioned I am not on Facebook to reconnect with people I never chose to connect with in the first place. I have been using the ignore button quite frequently when getting those types of requests. I refuse to feel bad about it. I put a lot of personal pictures and information on Facebook, and have zero interest in randoms seeing it.

Another thing Facebook is not for.....spam and random dating emails. Leave me be!! I do not appreciate random emails from men telling me how wonderful I am when they know nothing about me. I mean granted I am wonderful but they don't know that for sure lol.

Rule of the day: If I don't know you, consider you a friend, or invite you myself LEAVE MY FACEBOOK ALONE :) You can follow me on Twitter that is for all to see though. Or even better follow my blog, I love when people do that!!

Body Scanners, Pat Downs...oh my!

2011-01-07T20:12:00.000-06:00

Over Christmas I took to the friendly sky's after a five year hiatus. I don't like flying and especially not alone but I know it is time to get over this fear and just do it so I can enjoy life. When I was preparing to fly I did not even give the whole security thing a second thought. I wasn't stressed about going through body scanners, I was more worried about the take off of the airplane and turbulence. Once I got in the security line I was more frustrated with having to take off my knee high boots and walking around the dirty floor in my socks then having to sit back down and put them on.

When I got to Midway I was one of the first ones to get in line for security so it went very quickly. When I got up and put all of my stuff on the little convyer belt thing this one security lady was really rude cause I forgot to take my scarf off. Duh I never fly so I didn't really think about it. She told me to take off my coat which I already said. I told her it was just a hooded sweatshirt so then she pulled me aside to "feel me up" aka give me a pat down. No below the belt action...good thing she was so not my type haha. She did get to first base though and realized I had no bombs so I got to go through. At Midway Airport I didn't even see the body scanner, and I heard they had one.

When I got to Cleveland Hopkins airport to come back home to Chicago there was a body scanner being used and I was kinda interested in going in it but I guess I looked less shady so no one paid me any attention and just let me pass through. I saw a lady have to stand perfectly still in it though. I honestly don't think I'd mind it. My thoughts when flying are; "please don't let me die". So if someone scanning my body helps that come true I'm all about it. I think the airport should have strict rules. On my way back from home in Ohio my biggest worry was that my several dozen cookies wouldn't make it through security lol. They did! And my ass is growing because of it.

I can still remember where I was September 11, 2001 when the terrorist attacks happen. I feel like I still think of that when flying which is why I'm very afraid of flying. In fact I did not fly for the first time until after the attacks so that didn't help my nerves at all. Sometimes I wonder how many other people still have that in their mind. I also wonder if we worry enough about potential things happening in the future. I don't think I worried about much before that happened but I gained a level of anxiety afterwards and distrust for people I don't know.

Day 16 – What is in your bag?

2011-01-02T23:21:00.006-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 16 – My wallet, makeup, chap-stick, sunglasses...I'm a minimalist. What can I say?!

Ok so I'm officially done with my 16 day challenge and it was nice to get a lot more posts going on my blog! I love blogging, sometimes I just need that extra push or topic to get me going.

Day 15 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself ANYTHING you think you should know about your life.

2011-01-01T23:21:00.008-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 15 – Dear Nycole,

It's ok. You can finally breathe and realize that trying so hard to be perfect will only make things harder on yourself. 2011 is all about finding out how to be the best me. Finding a new job, heightened level of happiness, health, travel...just enjoying the hell out of life. I'm not going to make resolutions for new years but I'm going to make a to-do list. I want to be successful and not set goals that are unattainable. I'm shooting for the stars and working hard to get there.

xoxo

ME :)

Day 14 – Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

2010-12-31T13:21:00.008-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 14 – I wish I hadn't gotten myself into a ton of debt from college. I wish I would have applied to a million scholarships and found a way to go to college for free. I hate that I used Sallie Mae also, biggest scammers around. They are like the mafia or insane loan sharks...something. I make sure to tell everyone I know not to use them or ever consider letting someone use them. Horrible customer service. Even when you want to try to work something reasonable out they aren't interested.

Day 13 – A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.

2010-12-30T23:24:00.006-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 13 – Incubus for sure. They were huge when I was going through shit. I'd just fall asleep listening to them. I think they're an amazing band. I remember going to their concert in Cleveland with my mom and sister. It was a great time.

Day 12 – The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

2010-12-29T23:21:00.005-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 12 – I think everyone has a purpose and a journey that we are here to travel or complete. I think my journey is suppose to be a long one. I take everything and I appreciate it. I have been through ups and downs but I have always found a way to learn from what I'm doing. I feel lucky to be alive even in the most stressful of times. I'm not only lucky but blessed. You don't need to attend church every Sunday or ever, to have an amazing relationship with god or whatever you believe in. The key is to believe in something and trust your beliefs.

Day 11 – What if you were pregnant, what would you do?

2010-12-28T14:21:00.007-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 11 – This question seems pretty irrelevant to me because I do not plan to have children and I'm single lol. But if I were single right now I'd be wondering why God planted a super seed in me that came from somewhere other then a man lmao!

Day 10 – Have you ever thought about giving up on life?

2010-12-27T23:21:00.010-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 10 – I can honestly say that I have never seriously considered suicide, which is my interpretation to this question (giving up on life). There were times when I was younger when I'd think about my father not wanting me that I'd briefly think I wasn't worth it. I just never thought suicide was an answer. I have been very lucky to have family who loved me and always made me feel great about myself and feel worth it. Still to this day when I'm stressed out the first thing I do is call family. I appreciate them being there for me and teaching me the value of myself and my gifts.

I hope that more people can really take advantage of a support system such as a family and friends to keep them strong when they are going through a tough time. No one should choose suicide as a mission.

Day 09 – Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

2010-12-26T13:21:00.012-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 09 – This is for my future husband...whoever he may be. Some cheesy love songs that I like :)

The Best In Me- Marvin Sapp
Cater to you- Destiny's Child
Love Song- Sara Bareallis
The Only Exception- Paramore
Love- Keyshia Cole

There are like a million more. Anything by John Legend, Chrisette Michelle, Anthony Hamilton....

Day 08 – Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

2010-12-25T23:45:00.003-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 08 – Ah yes, R & J, these are two miserable people from a former job who could do nothing but torture me. I was in a senior position and they did not like that someone decades younger knew much more than they did. They were threatened and it was obvious to all around. What they don't know is that their anger was entertaining and their insecurity was funny. I feel sorry for them and failure is coming their way very soon. Their evil plan actually gave me a push in the right direction and has made me happier than I was when I was around their incompetent under showered selves.

This was an odd topic for Christmas night but whatever lol!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T08:31:00.019-06:00

Merry Christmas Everyone

I hope that everyone enjoys their family and friends on this wonderful day.

It's so funny to reflect back on Christmas adventures over the years. Last year Christmas night I was in Denny's laughing like crazy with my mom and sister. Who knows what this year will hold. Right now I am in Ohio so I'm hoping to update ASAP and fill you in on more of my adventures. My family is my world and I appreciate the time I spend with them more than any other time I have in my life.

As a kid Christmas is about the presents we get and how quick we can wake up Christmas morning to run to the tree to unwrap our gifts. As an adult its all about making others happy and seeing their reaction to the things you get them. I love this holiday. Even though I am broke this holiday it's just the fact that I get to be home with the people I love.

Day 07 – Someone who has made your life worth living for.

2010-12-24T11:21:00.009-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 07 – For this I have to pick four people, I cannot dwindle it down to just one. My grandmother, sister, mother and grandfather are the people who have made my life worth living. Whether they were helping me through a tough time, or loving me just because they are the reason I am who I am. This past year I got a tattoo to represent all of our birthdays and its really special to me.

Check out my blog I'm Lucky to Have My Family.

Day 06 – Something you hope you never have to do.

2010-12-23T23:21:00.005-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 06 – The first thing that comes to mind is that I hope I never have to bury a loved one, but we all know as time goes on people get older. This one is really hard for me. If I have to choose something, I think I'd never want to have to change who I am for any reason whether it be a man or a job or anything. I want to be who I am, whether that be perfect or just working on it.

Day 05 – Something you hope to do in your life.

2010-12-22T22:18:00.010-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 05 – I hope to be married and live a long happy life with one man who is faithful and only ever thinks about me as "the one" for him. The idea of marriage is so scary to me but I can truthfully say there aren't many things in life that I want more. I don't necessarily feel ready today but I want this for my future. I want a husband and I want to experience life with him. I want to cook for him and vacation. Sometimes I'm afraid it won't happen but I refuse to give up on that dream. I don't "dream" much but on this occasion I just cannot stop. I am even nuts enough to already know the colors that I want my wedding to be and somewhat how I want my dress to look. I just hope it works out for me. Patience is a virtue right?

Day 04 – Something you have to forgive someone for.

2010-12-21T18:14:00.006-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 04 – Even though I will never meet him, I have to forgive my father. I don't know him nor will I ever but I have to forgive the idea of him and know it was not meant to be. It breaks my heart to think about a man not wanting to be in a childs life but at the same time I do not want kids so I understand how he must have felt. Doesn't make it hurt less, I don't think it ever will but I want to forgive him in my mind and not be so angry and hurt.

Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for.

2010-12-20T18:25:00.001-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 03 – I have to forgive myself for a few past mistakes that I have made. Ones that I cannot just learn from but ones that have altered how I go about certain things. I just have to forgive myself and realize some things happen for really weird reasons even if it doesn't make sense right now.

Most mistakes you can just learn from and move on, this one I cannot just fix which makes it all the more harder to handle. I'm a fixer and I hate not being able to make it all better. I have to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made that have led me here.

Day 02 – Something you love about yourself.

2010-12-19T14:56:00.000-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge.

Day 02 - I love that regardless of how many times I have been hurt in life by friends or men I refuse to give up on people. I care for people and always go out of my way to be the best friend or girlfriend that I can be. I refuse to give up on the idea that there is a Mr. Right for me.

16 Day Blog Challange (Day One)

2010-12-18T23:03:00.001-06:00

16 Day Blog Challenge. Tune in to learn about The Savvy Brunette over the next 16 days. I hope this will give me the motivation I need to get blogging more frequently.

Day 01 – Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 – Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 – Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 – Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 – Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 – Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 – Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 – Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 10 – Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 11 – What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 12 – The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 13 – A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Day 14 – Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 15 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself ANYTHING you think you should know about your life.
Day 16 – What is in your bag?

Day 01 - I'm a "perfectionist" which has proven to hurt more than help sometimes. Sometimes when I see a challenge or something new and I'm unsure of how I'll do I might just not do it. Either that or it takes me a lot of time to get the courage up to do something I may fail at. I hate that I can't just live life and try everything without letting fear slow me down. Take every opportunity for what it is. I'm not perfect and it's never going to happen. I want to stop letting my fears stop me from experiencing life. I think it's holding me back.

Clogged Head Space

2010-12-16T19:16:00.001-06:00

I'm at a weird place in my life right now. My "head space" as I have been calling it lately is really clogged and foggy. I don't see much clearly right now, because quite frankly I can't see the future and the present is day to day for me. I feel like I have accomplished a lot but then it feels like it isn't making a difference at all. A few months ago I was let go from a job, the position no longer exists that I once held and enjoyed. Towards the end it was a very miserable place to be with a lot of over confident and under qualified people running around with their heads chopped off. I can say with complete honesty I am so happy to be out of that place and away from all of the negativity that surrounded it. Not only that but it FINALLY gave me the push I needed to be done with nonprofit work and start to look for work in business that I would enjoy.

The problem is, as we all know, jobs aren't overflowing everywhere like I'd hope they would be. I knew it would take awhile to find something I enjoyed but it's been about 3 months and I'm just not finding the right type of leads. I'm a young leader, that isn't up for question, I've always led in every position I have been in. What has been the biggest struggle, and most interesting of all is really trying to pinpoint what it is that I want to do and what I want next in my life. The answer...is still up for discussion. I spent about 6 years of my life building a fundraising career, one that I just recently realized that I do not want at all. Fundraising isn't my style, don't get me wrong I've had a lot of success in it but it doesn't keep me excited to go to work each day. I want to use my creativity and excitement for challenge in a position. I loved working in professional sports because not only was it a great family type organization but it also appealed to my need for exclusivity. The job was very exclusive and I love that. I love doing something that not everyone can do. Of course with exclusivity comes a hell of a time getting your foot in the door in the first place. My sports job was pure luck I think. I didn't know anyone and was not from Chicago but I made it work. I'd go back to sports if the right opportunity came up in either Community Relations, Marketing, Events or Sponsorship. Those things really appeal to me in the sports world. In the regular world I love Marketing, Business Development, Events and maybe even Sales. I've been doing a lot of thinking about sales lately, very challenging and there is a lot of opportunity for financial success.

Is it all about the money? Good question....no not all but partially about it. I can no longer say that I want to work to help others and live paycheck to paycheck. I'm now 28 years old and I haven't experienced so many things in life because I could never afford it. I have barely traveled and it is because I couldn't afford it. Doesn't help that I hate flying, but I'm willing to get over that. I don't have huge aspiration to be a globe trotter, but I want to see some of the amazing cities in the US that I have never seen. A major reason is because maybe Chicago isn't the place for me. Maybe there is somewhere else, somewhere WARM that I'd be happy to spend the rest of my life in. I have been in Chicago for almost 6 years and I have absolutely loved it here, but I didn't sign a contract to live here forever. If I finally get over my fear of flying I can just hop on a flight from anywhere to see my family. I say I want to be close to home but quite frankly I don't drive home anyhow, 5-6 hours is too far of a drive for me. When I ask my friends what they think about places I'd like I keep hearing San Diego over and over again. I know I like Atlanta, not so much the mountains in TN that you drive through to get there but I do like Atlanta. I think I could like Miami, although I'd need to be in much better shape because everyone there is amazing lol. I want to visit all of these places and really give them a chance.

So this is why my head space is a big old clogged mess. I don't know what's next and I'm confused on how big of a blind step I want to take. Bottom line I need a new job. Most likely it needs to be in Chicago because I cannot afford to move yet. If I move it'll be after my next job when I can save up the money to do that.

My head space also has a lot of swirling about dating. I went through the last half of the year dating like crazy, meeting a lot of men and going out on dates. I was doing it just to show myself that I could, but what ended up happening was that I kept meeting guys who I wasn't really into so it was bumming me out more than anything. I had a ton of first dates and avoided a lot of seconds because I just wasn't feeling the quality. I'm changing to quality over quantity from now on. There is no point in dating as a sport. If a guy doesn't have his shit together and have goals and respect then I've got no room in my life for that type of person.

I'm excited and scared to see what's next....mainly excited with just a pinch of scared.

Marvin Sapp | The Best In Me

2010-12-09T23:27:00.000-06:00

This is such an amazing song...definitely a future wedding song!

New Years Resolutions

2010-12-09T17:42:00.001-06:00

Until this moment I hadn't really thought much about it but for now I have one that I want to share and that is....

NO MORE FAST FOOD...

except Jimmy John's Vegetarian subs. Which I don't really think is fast food anyhow even though their slogan is fast. I'm all about getting it together and getting healthy this year.
Workin it out + getting sexier=finding Mr. Right!!

More resolutions to come soon....

Happy 1 Year Anniversary Savvy Brunette

2010-11-25T14:07:00.002-06:00

My blog and I have survived a year together. 80 blogs later and it's already been a year...wow! I promise to give my blog much more attention in year two. I have really enjoyed starting The Savvy Brunette though, I even bought my URL which was an awesome step!!

I have been so busy with life that it took me a little bit to even post my 1 year. I just turned 28 years old and I'm very excited about that. I'm hoping for a great year, and a great 2011. I have a feeling things are going to be good and I plan to share the good and the bad on my blog!!

Thank you to everyone who had read my blog over the past year and especially those who have commented. I really appreciate it!!

ALSO.....HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! Gobble gobble!

Be thankful for all the amazing people in your life, and for the opportunity to wake up everyday and breathe fresh air. We control our own lives, even when it does not feel like it. Be thankful for the choices you make, and the opportunities you have. I know I am.

I am unfortunately not with my family this year but I am so thankful for everything they do for me, especially my grandparents. They are my rock. I'm thankful to have such a loving sister and mother as well and wonderful friends who really made my 28th birthday special. I'm thankful that even though my life hasn't been perfect I have an opportunity to make changes to make it even better!!

xoxo

The CW Glamorizes Student Teacher Affairs

2010-11-22T20:30:00.001-06:00

I have no problem admitting that I am addicted to what most would called teenage drama shows. What I do have a problem with is that one in particular is glamorizing a student teacher affair. They make a big point to show us that they both know it is wrong, but their feelings are so strong so they refuse to do what is right.

Not too long ago I worked in a school where this was a real life issue. A male teacher had an "alleged" affair with a high school girl, he was late 20s she was about 16 or 17 years old. There was nothing glamorous about the situation or what happened afterwards once the truth came to light. The lives of both people were ruined. Students were confused and placed blame on their fellow student because they did not understand just how wrong it was. Knowing that teenagers don't get that its wrong and they are quick to blame their peers is very disturbing to me. It seems like every month there is a new story of a male or female teacher taking advantage of a student. I remember when I was 17, I dated a 21 year old which seemed ok at the time, but I see just how wrong it was now that I'm older. It's not like the guy was buying me booze, I was a goodie goodie so I wasn't after all of that but just the shear fact that he was that much older when I was in high school was a tad much. Parents need to teach their kids about dating beyond the 5 minute birds and bees conversation. The fact that high school crushes are turning into full blown sexual relationships between students and teachers is just wrong.

Life Unexpected is a show on The CW where a troubled girl who grew up bouncing around the foster care system finds her parents. I think she's about 14 on the show, and they have her in a relationship with a brand new teacher who must be early to mid 20s. They hooked up before she knew he was a teacher and once they both found out they could not stay away from each other even though they knew it was wrong. They even went as far to go to another town so they could have a date and be out in public holding hands and being a couple. It seems so inappropriate to be showing this to a targeted age group of teenage girls. It is romanticizing student teacher relationships.

A good friend of mine and I were having this discussion the other day, and we both had very similar views that something needs to be done to stop things like this from happening. The problem is, there is no easy answer. Do you put a cap on how young new teachers are that deal with high school kids? Maybe. Understandably when you say that the first thing people think is that its typically happening with older male teachers, I don't agree. That's what we hear about in the media the most, but if you really look into the news you will see many more "relationships" with young teachers and high school students. When considering restrictions where does it end though. There are many talented young adults that work with kids and would never consider violating them.

There are so many kids out there having a tough time at home and they look to another adult for attention and acceptance. Where does a teacher or school worker draw the line when a student is coming to them? I think a teacher can be a mentor, but I do not think they can ever meet off school grounds. They can meet in school, before or after school or during lunch or study hall. Teachers and students have to use their best judgement in order not to set themselves up for a tough situation. What is the point where the line is crossed? Is it when a student and teacher are meeting daily, is it when they're hugging, what is that point? I think teachers need to all go through thorough training before they are hired, and every so often about appropriate behavior with students and colleagues. What are some other ways to stop relationships like this from happening?

I Voted....Did You?

2010-11-02T14:17:00.000-05:00

I VOTED (last week), DID YOU? Voting is so important, I have been doing it since age 18. This is my first time voting in Illinois though. I use to vote absentee in Ohio because I wasn't sure if I was planning to stay and I also felt Ohio needed all the Democratic votes that it could get. I knew it was most definitely was time to register here though because I have been here 5 1/2 years.

While checking out my Facebook and Twitter this past week I was really saddened to see that a lot of people were not planning to vote. I did my best to impart my "wisdom" to try to motivate my friends who were confused to put it nicely. I never ever push my opinions on others or tell them who to vote for, but I think it is very important for people to know how important voting is.

The response I got from some was:

"I don't like any of the candidates".

"I'll vote in 2012 for Obama again".

"I'm waiting to vote for Mayor next year".

"This election isn't important".

"My vote doesn't really count".

"I don't know, if I have time". (which as we all know means not gonna happen)

My thought on all of those responses aka EXCUSES is that those are not good reasons, in fact there is no good reason. We vote because it gives us rights, and it gives us the right to have an opinion. If you do not vote, do not expect anyone to listen to you complaining when a politician you hate does something that turns your stomach. Take the time and just vote, show that not only do you have opinions but you really care about choosing someone to make changes.

One of the most important things about voting today in this election is that Obama needs to maintain power so that he can make important decisions and have the support for those decisions to matter. Obama needs Democrats in office so that he will have that support. So even if you do not know anything about politics, if you're an Obama supporter/fan then just vote a democratic ticket.

DISCLAIMER: In no way shape or form am I encouraging people to vote Democratic just because I do. I do not judge people for their political affiliation. I just think its important to make a decision and then go out and vote!!

The picture above was my cute little foursquare badge I earned by voting. I had to check in today and say "I Voted" to earn it, even though I voted last week! It still counts, I VOTED!! The second one was just silly!

28 things to do while I'm 28

2010-10-29T23:04:00.005-05:00

I am almost TWENTY-EIGHT years old! Just a little under a month away and I'll be that much closer to 30...eeek!! I think I kind of wasted age 27 on being absolutely miserable at a job and dating a ton of weenies...NO MORE OF THAT! The official list start date is my birthday: November 21st, so hopefully I remember to come back in a year and see if I completed it all. I will try to update as I go.

28 THINGS TO DO WHILE I AM 28

GET IN SHAPE…shed some extra lbs.
Enjoy life…figure out what my “happiness” is and how to start traveling towards it.
Date a better quality of men. No more D-bags for age 28!!
Visit my family in Ohio more. A few measly times a year is not acceptable!!
Make some new friends!
Travel to Miami to see my bestie Devon
Travel to NYC to see my good friend Nicole and just see NYC for the first time
Start a new career path, one that will be the one I was meant to travel one.
Get over my fear of flying, or at least make an attempt and get on a plane
Get a new car!! Vroom Vroom.
Waste less time online tweeting & facebooking.
Blog more (not a waste of online time).
Volunteer for a nonprofit that I actually care for.
Look into becoming a mentor to kids.
Get a new tattoo or two. “Just Breathe” first'
Drink a lot less pop, like 75% less than what I drink now.
CHILL OUT...stop stressing about everything. Life will work out.
Convince my roommate to sign a 2nd year lease in our townhome :)
Find some hobbies that get me out and enjoying life.
Go to more festivals and Chicago activities.
Wear a dress. Ok this sounds weird but I have been wearing one a year and it was for a gala I did, and now that I'm no longer involved I need to really push myself to do this.
Let my family and friends know how much they mean to me.
Take more pictures to remember the great memories with those I care about.
Go to a Michigan Wolverines football game.
Stop shaving and start getting waxed..I know TMI, but hey it's MY list :)
Add a few colors other than black into my wardrobe.
Stop having so many phobias and face my fears and overcome them.
Vote for Rahm Emanuel to be the next Mayor of Chicago!!

~~Crossed out items are completed.~~

Italicized items are in progress.

Bullying in Todays Society

2010-10-22T01:16:00.002-05:00

Bullying is a huge problem worldwide, and it seems to have reared an even meaner headed in todays society. With things like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and email bullying has climbed to an all new level. The effects of bullying can last forever, and with such easy access to social media the ability to bully is limitless. When I was in high school there were very few bullies, and by no means were they going online to do their dirty work. It was only 10 years ago and there was not even an option to bully online, it was old fashion teasing and kids being jerks. In todays society bullying consists of completely breaking someone down to the lowest form and spreading it all over online. In my opinion the biggest difference between bullying and how kids react today versus ten years ago is that when someone was bullied ten years ago only a handful of people would find out about it, today kids are spreading it all over the web. I cannot imagine how these poor kids feel when bullying goes online because other join in and it becomes a real life monster before anyone can stop it.

A friend of mine who is older has a teenage daughter who got heavily bullied online this past year. She was not a very popular girl and she put herself in all the wrong situations, but never deserved to be harassed. The bullies began to spread lies about her online and they would invite their friends from other schools to jump in and bully the girl. There were kids that knew nothing about her jumping in just to be mean. It got to the point, where a complete stranger was telling the poor girl he was going to come to her house and take care of her. At this point my friend, who was the mother of the bullied girl had to file a police report. The police actually went to the house of the girl who was recruiting people to harass my friends daughter. This was just this past year, and I know the girl still struggles with trusting people because she is afraid that it will happen again. Her mother pulled her out of the school and transfered her to a neighboring school in hopes of squashing the problem.

A second situation involved a parent and her daughter making online videos and posting them to Facebook to bully some of the girls classmates. When I saw the video I was beyond shocked and disgusted, because a parent who is at least 30+ is on a video posted to Facebook calling 3 teenage girls jealous bitches and all assortment of other names. This 30 year old woman had the balls to go on video to call teenagers names and threaten them, that is beyond unacceptable. She did not stop there, she went to all the upcoming basketball games with her daughter and stared down the girls she was bullying with her daughter each time. This situation made me really question what was wrong with people, especially parents who thought it was ok to go after children. I do not care if your kid is telling you these girls are mean, then you talk to those girls parents; what you do not do is take to Facebook video to call them bitches and threaten them. What happened to parents leading by example?

To know that being bullied is so hard to take for some kids that they are committing suicide is so sad. No kid should ever feel like they have to disappear just to finally be rid of their pain. I also think parents need to pay closer attention to what is going on with their kids. If your child is in pain you have to be there for them so they release the pain instead of hold it in and feel like they have no one. I have to admit that I often wonder why so many parents do not know that their kids are being bullied or are the bullies. Are parents taking a hands off role, or is it really happening that quietly? In the days where a majority of the bullying is online, I think there is no excuse for parents to not know what is going on. Parents should be aware of what is going on with their children at all times, they should have access to their Facebook. I know kids want their privacy, but give me a break there are things more important, like saving their life.

I was shocked when I logged onto Facebook today and the first status message I saw was a friend going on a rant how kids need to learn how to deal with bullies. Essentially calling them weak, I just think thats wrong. Yes, kids should learn how to cope and be strong but they are not the problem. Parents need to get control over their bullying kids, and maybe hug them once in awhile or send them to a psychiatrist. The child being bullied is not to blame. I really believe that all high schools and even grammar schools should have anti-bullying programs to teach kids the real results of bullying.

When I was in high school I was never bullied but I saw the effects of others being bullied and its unacceptable. When you look back on those years, I see that the biggest bullies are now the biggest losers. It is because they are deficient in areas that make them feel the need to over compensate and feel like the big winner by bringing others down. I wish kids could look into the future and see that things would get better, they just have to remove themselves from the here and now and make it through the tough times. I also really wish that people would take those being bullied under their wings and let them know they have support and they are not alone.

There is an excellent website with resources on bullying, to check it out visit: http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2010-10-02T16:10:00.000-05:00

BREAST CANCER IN THE UNITED STATES STATISTICS

Go here for more: http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/Statistics.html

From the 1940s until recently, the rate of new cases of breast cancer (called incidence) in the United States increased by a little over one percent a year. In the 1980s, the rate of new cases rose dramatically (likely due to increased screening), and during the 1990s the rate of new cases leveled off. From 1999 to 2006, there was a decline in the rate of new breast cancer cases [5,41]. Although mammography screening rates fell somewhat over this same time period, recent studies show these changes were not likely related to the decline in breast cancer rates [42,43]. The decline appears to be related to the drop in use of postmenopausal hormones that occurred after the Women's Health Initiative study showed that their use increased risk of breast cancer and heart disease [19,41,42,43]. About 207,090 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in women in the United States in 2010 [5]. In 1975 the incidence of breast cancer was 107 per 100,000 for white women and 94 per 100,000 for black women. Thirty years later in 2005, the number of new cases per year had risen to 126 per 100,000 for white women and 114 per 100,000 for black women [13].

In the past 35 years, mortality (the rate of death) for white women has decreased. In 1975, 32 per 100,000 white women (including Hispanic women) died of breast cancer, but by 2005, that figure had dropped to 23 per 100,000. For black women (including Hispanic), though, mortality increased somewhat over the same period, rising from 30 per 100,000 black women in 1975 to 33 per 100,000 in 2005 [13]. (Figure 1.2 shows this trend).

I'M OFFICIAL

2010-09-27T00:44:00.001-05:00

www.thesavvybrunette.com

I'm official, I finally registered my domain and directed it here to blogger! Please enjoy my website, I hope to give it a lot more attention then I have in the past!

www.thesavvybrunette.com

A little something extra to make you smile...as if my blog being official wasn't enough :) xoxo

Texting has changed how we interact

2010-09-26T01:47:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about texting and just how frequently I do it. I looked at my last phone bill and realized that I text 4800+ times in just one month. That seemed like an astronomical amount, but then I logged into Twitter and I see someones Tweet that they tweet almost 400 times per day, YIKES. Anyhow, the amount of texting we all do is affecting our interactions with people. Both in good and bad ways.

Texting has been positive for me in the way that it keeps me in touch with people I otherwise would not talk to. I am not a big phone person so if I do not have a lot to say I avoid the phone conversation all together. The only time I really spend on the phone is with family or if I need an immediate response. When I'm on the phone I find myself very bored and busy doing other things. I text a lot of friends from college, or BBM them to stay in touch. Otherwise we wouldn't chat, other than the occasional Facebook comments on status updates.

Texting definitely has its downs because when you're friends with people its easy to get bored texting the same old short messages time after time. You don't ever really get into a deep conversation and there is just a disconnect. I remember when I was in high school and I was dating I would spend hours on the phone talking to that boy. Now I get bored after minutes. Maybe its because we are just so busy doing too many things we no longer have time to just slow down and build relationships with people.When someone texts when you're with them that is insanely rude. Cell phones are seriously addictive and people need to be connected. I am guilty of needing to be connected, but I can put the phone away when I'm with other people.

Maybe that is the bigger question, why are we too busy to have personal relationships with friends and significant others. I feel like so many people my age do not have a lot of quality relationships, its all acquaintances. Is it because we are too busy to meet people, or too busy to care about the lives of others?

Hi Everyone!!

2010-09-26T00:29:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to say hello and play around with my video feature on my computer.
The secret is now out...yes, I am a total nerd haha!!
I'm not gonna lie...a small reason I finally decided to do this was because I was having an awesome hair and makeup day haha!!

ENJOY!

Internet cheating...what are the rules?

2010-09-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

When I was younger, about 21 years old, right after I graduated college I spent a lot of time in Columbus, Ohio staying with a friend of mine (thanks Jacci). I wanted to job hunt and really just party and enjoy life. I spent way more time partying and enjoy life then doing anything else. There were weeks where I would be partying every day.

Anyhow I definitely digress from the blog topic. While I was down there I met this guy online who seemed really cool and was from there so we had plans to hang out. We hung out and totally hit it off and clicked. He was a really cool guy and would come to my friends house where I was staying to bring me breakfast and just hang out. He would also come up to the bar where another friend of mine and I would get drinks. His schedule was flexible and he seemed to be around whenever I asked him to be. I really took a major interest in this guy...UNTIL...I found out he was married. Please keep in mind I did not know this for at least a few months into us hanging out. He completely kept it a secret from me, I was mortified. I had been spending a lot of time with this man and he just decided to spring it on me that he was married.

SO HERE IS THE REAL TOPIC: I don't think that people (men especially) consider relationships online or people they meet from online to be cheating. Men are out there creating second lives and believing them and dating like they are single. I've accidentally dated two married men in my life. Both kept their rings off and did not act like they had to be home at a certain time.What is the rule, is there one? Is internet dating taken us by storm so quickly and become so mainstream that we didn't have time to lay down the law about what was right and wrong? Married men who may have never cheated before, or maybe just looked at porn can now create a new "life" online and make new friends based on the person he is pretending to be.

I personally think if you're married or in a relationship then you need to be honest and need to be faithful. If you're not happy then its time to break it off. I don't care if you're married, this is what divorce is for. Give me a break, be a grown up and get a divorce if you want to go play around like a 20 something kid. Is it just me or is this happening a lot these days?

I miss my blog

2010-09-07T12:27:00.000-05:00

I hate that I haven't posted in so long. I haven't had the motivation to put words down. I've been very overwhelmed with school work and the gym. Work is a whole other story I'd rather not speak on. Things have honestly been way too much for me. I'm not enjoying school at all this go round.

I had a long weekend lots of partying which was wonderful (pic on the side) and I'm feeling gross after all the weather changing. Going to take a sick day tomorrow. My throat is massively swollen and my nose is dripping gallons :( someone fix me!!

On a side note I absolutely love hats and I think this one is a great fit for me!

Adventures with Grandma in Chicago & Ohio family time!

2010-08-05T00:25:00.000-05:00

Day 1- Saturday, July 17th
Picked grandma up at the train and headed on over to White Palace on Roosevelt/Canal. Yet another place that Shawn put me on to. They have really good breakfast. I love little diners. This one was on some TV show also. Forget the name of it, but that annoying guy that does the Fridays commercials is the host.We then came home and rested before going to the Shedd Aquarium. We valeted so we did not have to wait in the long line outside which had to have been about a 1-2 hour wait. We got in to the Will Call line and that was at least a 30 minute wait. I have heard so many great things about the Shedd so I had high expectations. We went in line and got our tickets and the lady apparently didn't understand English because she did not give me the right ticket so we were unable to get into the big show. All in all I am 100% disappointed in the Shedd. I'd never go back. There was nothing interesting to see and its overcrowded. It really made me dislike kids way more than I ever have before. Dislike their parents way way more because they let their little people run around like chickens with their heads off.

After the Shedd we went home to take a breather and just relax. Finally we decided to go to dinner, we tried Sushi Pink, I had a Restaurant.com certificate so I wanted to try it out. It was so so. I doubt I'll go back, there was nothing special about it. Subpar food and choices, I've had much better!! When we were down we headed to Navy Pier, I bought a Sunset Lake Cruise for us to check out the lake. So all was going well until we were driving at like 1mph going up 7 floors in the garage and all of a sudden my car decides overheating would be a good idea. The idiots at Car X (on Irving Park) not only do not fix what they say they do but they make things worse. My car has NEVER overheated until they FIXED the fan. Hmmm that isn't my definition of fixed. So whatever we finally park as the car pointer thing is on the red part so its hot and pissed off. We get to the elevator and IT IS BROKE. So down we go SEVEN flights of stairs. Mind you my grandma is in her early 70s so this was not a good idea at all. We finally got to go on the Sunset Lake Cruise and it was very nice.

Day 2- Sunday, July 18th
Sunday we decided to lay low it was about 99 with the humidity, and who wants to be in that crap. We went to brunch at Stanley's on Racine, not nearly as good as the one on Lincoln. I wouldn't go back to that Stanley's not for brunch anyhow. The weather decided to decline and poor down rain, while maintaining its hot hellish temps.

For dinner we went to Hot Chocolate. I have been here before just for dessert, which was really good.

Day 3- Monday, July 19th
After more car overheating issues my grandma and I took a quick trip to Car X to have them look it over. We stopped at Alps East which is a nice diner to have some breakfast and wait for the car to get looked at. Of course they didn't fix it then. Always drama at Car X. I no longer support them or recommend them at all!!

After car drama was over it was time for the fun to begin. We took a trip to the Skydeck. Keep in mind I'm super afraid of heights but I thought this was something that would be really fun! We went and even walked out onto the Ledge. Lots of fun!! After that we needed a phenomenal dinner so we went to La Scarola which is by far my favorite place to eat in the entire city. I love their Salmon and Risotto...best meal in the entire city!!

Day 4- Tuesday, July 20th
What an end to a great trip! We started with La Peep for breakfast. Very very hard to find parking but when we finally did breakfast was good. We then went back home to relax. Had some pizza for lunch and got everything and packed ready to go. So I called a cab and they didnt send one so I had to walk to the street and wait 10 minutes to grab one. We JUST made it to Amtrak with only 3 minutes till the train would have left without us. Very scary!!

OHIO TIME!
I then spent about 5 days home in Ohio with family and had a great time! Spent a lot of time with my mom and my sister Callie. It was great to see her and her new place. Did some shopping.

I also got to spend time with friends from BGSU who I had not seen since Homecoming 2004. YIKES!! I cannot believe I let it go that long. I am so disappointed in myself. We had such a great time hanging out and having LOTS of drinks downtown Cleveland!

Here is a picture of my friend Loren and Doria!!

I <3 BGSU FALCONS ALUMS!!

Men who choose not to be fathers

2010-07-17T00:42:00.002-05:00

This is a follow up to my letter to my father (see previous blog). My father chose not to be a father, and my mom let him make that choice. I struggle with whether or not I think that is ok. Should a man have a choice as to whether or not he will be in his child's life? When a man and woman sleep together they are both equally making the decision to have sex (duh, I know). Most do not consider children in the process. Well when a girl ends up pregnant she ultimately can choose to keep the child or abort. A man at this point has no choice, his life is wavering while he waits for the girl to make a decision. He could choose to run for the hills, but then he is a bad guy in everyones eyes. I have always questioned if a guy should have an option. If a woman can ultimately choose whether or not to have an abortion when she finds out she is pregnant, she is deciding whether or not she wants to be a mom. Should a guy have a choice? Is the only answer that people just should not be having sex unless they are ready to be parents? That is beyond unrealistic, the world is not going to stop having sex because they fear pregnancy. So what is the answer? Does a guy deserve a choice?

Sometimes I think maybe he should have a choice, even in the situation I'm in, I still think that. What would ideally happen if he made the choice was that he would then be available to contact later on in life just so the child could know who he is. I know that once a man is in the child's life there are financial expectations, and maybe that is why some run, or maybe its because they just made a mistake or aren't ready. Who knows.

Also, on the other side, when a girl makes a choice to abort should a man have a say? Unfortunately he really does not. You cannot force a girl to carry a child for 9 months.

I'm really curious how other people feel about these situations...share your thoughts please!!

**Took the picture of some random website. Googled "father", so in no way is this man related to the post. He is a hottie though ;) wink wink!

Dear Dad

2010-07-16T23:35:00.001-05:00

Dear Dad,

I know you do not know me. In fact you might not even know I exist. I know you were probably young and not ready to have me, but shit happens. I happened, and my mother kept me. I am 27 years old and every one of those years I have wondered about you. Did you ever wonder if I was alive? Did you ever wonder if my mother kept me? Sometimes I wonder what you are like. Sometimes I wonder if I have siblings. If I had siblings I do not know how I would feel about it. My sister is the only sibling I want and need. She's amazing and I love her. When I was younger I always held out hope that somehow you would find your way into my life. I have a step father, and he is a waste of space.

I have never once called someone dad in my life because I technically never had one. It is awkward to tell people that you do not know a parent, and then expect them to think you're still normal. When I think about it, not having a parent seems really traumatizing and just all out sad. I feel like I should have gotten an MTV reality show or something out of this lol. All I got was this t-shirt, just kidding! I always really wanted to be able to call someone dad. I will never have that opportunity.

Without you, I grew a whole mess of male issues. I trust the wrong men because I want acceptance. The only man I can truly say who has always been there for me and loved me unconditionally is my grandfather. He was the closest thing to a father that I'll ever have. My grandfather was amazing, I think he knew that I needed a positive role model and he stepped up and was a friend. I need that. My grandparents took your place because you couldn't be a real man and step up when you found out.

I'm going to be 28 this year and it seems pretty surreal to think that I will never ever know who my father was. I wish I could say that by now it really just does not matter, but I do not think I will ever be able to say that. I know I will always wonder and I will always take it personally. I take rejection to heart because you taught me rejection before I was even born. I grew up with the sick need to do things perfectly or be too afraid to do them. They say that you are who you are because of what you have been through. I cannot say that not having a father did anything positive, its just given me issues I have had to deal with my entire life. The things I have been through that have effected me positively had nothing to do with your absence.

-Me

P.S. You totally missed out, I was like the cutest kid ever!

Enough said...

2010-07-14T12:06:00.019-05:00

The top one is from @TheFifty50 and I love it, but I didn't get the full third panel so here is what it's suppose to look like!! I will most definitely get a shirt that has this on it like ASAP!!

Also, NO I am NOT an alcoholic I'm just TWENTY-SEVEN years old and FINALLY enjoying my life!!Effen Black Cherry + Tonic = <3 of my life. Jameson shot=WTF why?!

Is MTV encouraging teenage pregnancy?

2010-07-12T23:22:00.000-05:00

What is up with this Teen Mom show on MTV? There is one girl on there that needs to get shaken. Her and her baby daddy cannot get along but she is a little devilish thing, always throwing fits in front of her poor little baby. Another young girl is living with the boy who is a total lazy bum and they have no business faking a relationship. He does not even act like a father.I hate watching this because it makes me sad BUT of course I'll continue to watch because I'm a true reality tv addict.

I am so torn on whether or not I like that MTV keeps doing all these teen pregnancy and parenting shows. On one hand it shows how tough it is to have a child and how much your social life is out the window, but it also shows these kids being bratty, disrespectful and getting by on government aid. I also really do not like that it shows grandparents taking care of the kids so much, it sends the message that kids can have babies and just play with them when they want.I wish they showed the success with the struggle, I feel bad for all these kids who drop out of school and just seem so unhappy.

There was one Teen Mom I was watching and this young couple got engaged, they are maybe 17. I just wish these poor kids would let themselves grow up so they wouldn't get stuck in time. Its like kids have to prove that they are grown up so they have to do adult things. The best advice my mom EVER gave me was to not do everything when you're young because you won't have anything left to enjoy when you're older. I took that to heart and was a good kid who took my time enjoying life.

My mom had me right after she turned 20 and I remember being with my grandparents for a large part of my childhood so my mom could work. I respect the hard work she did but I remember she still went out and lived her life and dated. I felt secondary to her and primary to my grandparents a lot of the time.I get what these kids will grow up feeling like and honestly I don't agree with it. A bond is formed with a child at a young age and if the parents aren't grown up enough to make the bond they may never be able to get it back.

Nycole's Baked Mac & Cheese

2010-07-12T16:38:00.012-05:00

I've decided it is about time that I get my cooking game up so eventually I can get married and not be a Peggy Bundy! I absolutely love baked mac and cheese so I watched you tube videos all day and none of the recipes completely grabbed me so I just took pieces from like 5 different ones and I did this on my own. It was really good. Next time I'd for sure use just a tad less sharp cheddar just cause its not my fave. I'd use another white cheese.
Here's how I did it! Please let me know if you try it. I'd love to know how it turns out!! Good Luck!

INGREDIENTS

3 tbsp butter
3 tbsp flour
2 cups milk
1 tbsp salt (put a little more when I was tasting)
2 eggs
a little garlic
TONS OF CHEESE lol (like 3-4 bags of your choice of cheese)
2 cups of cooked elbow noodles

DIRECTIONS

Make a rue (the base to make the cheese sause work). Put your butter and flour together, over medium heat on the stove. Mix them up and get the butter all melted.
Add your milk. Then mix the milk and the rue until the rue is no longer chunky.
Add 1 tbsp salt
Add about 3-4 bags of shredded cheese (my preference is to have some cheddar, some italian, montery jack, and just having fun trying something different each time). Stir cheese in at medium heat so it doesn't melt too quickly. You want a nice thick sauce. IMPORTANT LEAVE SOME CHEESE FOR A TOP LAYER (you can use a 5th bag).
Add 2 eggs. Keep stirring everything together this will make it nice and thick so you'll have more of a casserole dish them a creamy dish.
Taste the mix and add garlic and salt to your liking. I know garlic is not a norm, but I love it in this dish.
Put your cooked noodles in your casserole dish and then poor the cheese mix on top. Mix everything together. Put a layer of cheese on top and you're all good to go!!
Cook at 350 for about 35 minutes :) (check throughout you want a little brown but not burnt)

This is super cheesy and in no way a health food dish. I wouldn't recommend this too often or your poor little arteries will cry! Best thing about this is that it still tastes good for a few days of leftovers!

Quick update: I'm on day 4 of eating it and I'm still loving it :) Today is the last day though lol!!

I'm lucky to have my family

2010-07-09T00:33:00.000-05:00

Quite often I'm reminded of how amazing my family is because their support for me never ceases when I need it. For example today my grandma paid for a car repair that I needed. I of course will pay her back but how awesome is that that she was there for me all the way in Ohio. My grandmother is an amazing person and I do not know what I would do without her. In fact I think I wouldn't be a whole person anymore. She knows more about me than anyone else and she supports everything I do and loves me unconditionally. I am very excited my grandmother will be coming to Chicago not this Saturday but next and we'll do all sorts of fun Chicago stuff. I'm praying that it's not a bazillion degrees like it is right now!! I cannot stand the hot weather and I do not want my grandma to have to deal with it. No rain either. One year it rained so much when she visited that her train was delayed a day which was fun cause we had another day to hang. What's really cool about this year is that she's visiting for a few days and then we are going back to Ohio together to see her sister and my great aunt Ruth Anne. I have some fun stuff planned for us while she's here. I love showing her a good time and not letting her pay for anything. My grandma is truly amazing and I respect and admire her so much.

My grandfather is really cool, he's the ZZ Tops looking guy in the blue hawaiian type shirt. He took me to so many major concerts in my life and exposed me to a lot of great artists and opened my mind to seeing things in life differently. Man we saw Tom Petty, Aerosmith (twice), Rolling Stones, Bush, Ozzfest, Smoking Grooves Tour (twice), Alanis Morisette, wow I could go on forever. The first concert we saw was Willie Nelson at the Lorain County Fair. We even waited till after and like climbed a fence to meet him and get his autograph. I have his autograph somewhere on a red bandana. Seriously my grandpa is so cool!! He rocks at Jeopardy, has to be the smartest person I know. He knows so much stuff its really cool. When I was little I'd go to Lorenzo's this pizza place in Oberlin, OH with my grandparents and my grandpa and I would play the jukebox and play name that tune. I use to always play Bad to the Bone, I was religious with that song...loved it. Oh speaking of which I use to sing it into my little playstation tape recorder. I hope someone finds those and plays them at my wedding haha. I'd be embarrassed but come on I was a junior rock star, inside I'd be proud!! I look forward to seeing my grandpa in a few weeks.

My mother who is the lovely lady with my sister in the picture, you know the lady with the large hair situation. My mother is half black so she has always had this larger than life hair situation. I mean if she likes it I love it...and by love it I mean my sister and I love to tease her about it. My mother and I have been through it all, we've done more than our fair share of fighting and not talking to each other. We are both stubborn and it doesn't match well. Honestly I will always have a tough time because she will not tell me who my father is. I have always resented that about her a bit even though I hate to admit it and I hate to hold that in. I love my mom of course but will always have hurt. I look forward to seeing her in a few weeks and hanging out. When my mom, sister and I get together we are a bunch of hilarious assholes. We are always joking and laughing and have a great time. My family makes me laugh and keeps me sane while at times making me insane.

My sister, who just turned 19 (which means I'm old) is awesome. I think she's the coolest kid (which she no longer is) and have always admired her talents and strength. We have different fathers and neither of us like her father, total waste of space.She is now living with her boyfriend, so very mature, I'm not even there yet lol!! She finished massage therapy school and works pt. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she passes her test and can start her massage therapy career, so proud of her!! I am super siked to see her when I go home. When we get together its a total force to be reckoned with, we are assholes. We have a plan to go to Walmart and find people to submit to that wonderful Walmart site.

Ok that was a serious family rant, but they are great. That is why I got my last tattoo it signifies the importance of each of these individuals. My leg looks all weird in the pic but I absolutely LOVE this tattoo. It feels very Angelina Jolie bad ass to me ;)

XI XXI- My bday

VII II- Callie's bday

X VI- Moms bday

VIII XXII- Grandmas bday
IX XX- Grandpas bday

Big Brother: New Season

2010-07-08T19:54:00.001-05:00

Alright so here is the new cast. Hottie of the season I'm going to say is Brendon, but why are there never sexy black men...epic fail!! Two IL folks so I'll try to like and cheer for them. I think being on Big Brother would be fun, I should try out for that someday. I'd probably be the bitch of the house :)

Seasons cast:

Rachel Reilly, 26 – VIP Cocktail Waitress – Las Vegas, NV
Kristen Bitting, 24 – Boutique Manager – Philadelphia, PA
Britney Haynes, 22 – Hotel Sales Manager – Huntington, AR
Monet Stunson, 24 – Model – Glen Carbon, IL
Brendon Villegas, 30 – High School Swim Coach – Riverside, CA
Andrew Gordon, 39 – Podiatrist – Miami, FL
Enzo Palumbo, 32 – Insurance Adjuster – Bayonne, NJ
Kathy Hillis, 40 – Deputy Sheriff – Texarkana, AR
Annie Whittington, 27 – Bartender – Tampa, FL
Matt Hoffman, 32 – Web Designer – Elgin, IL
Lane Elenburg, 24 – Oil Rig Salesman – Decatur, TX
Ragan Fox, 34 – College Professor – Los Angeles, CA
Hayden Moss, 24 – College Student, Athlete – Tempe, AZ

So far my faves are: Annie, Brendon, and Matt

My least faves: So far I like everyone, although the redhead seems pretty clueless.

Some information snagged from: Big Brother Network

Myth Busting: Online classes are NOT easy!!

2010-07-07T18:11:00.000-05:00

I cannot tell you how many times I have read or heard that online classes are easy. So NOT true!! In fact I'd say it is much harder than regular classes on campus. I have done both so I have the inside track. I got my Bachelors in the classroom and am getting my Masters online.

In a classroom you have the benefit of listening to your teacher teach you the important topics, reading is secondary, teachers have office hours, study groups with classmates and typically there are study guides to help you review. In the world of online learning you don't ever hear your teacher teach, you teach yourself by reading. So far I have had 3-4 books to read per class which is a lot in just 8 weeks. Online you don't have study groups to benefit from. You have weekly papers and daily discussion forums. There are a lot of points and you've got to do everything well to succeed. You have to be so self disciplined and dedicated to wanting to succeed.

I have successfully completed semester 1 with a 4.0 to show for it. I'm very excited about that. I enjoy online learning because you have opportunities to learn through your classmates experiences. Each week you must participate in discussion forums Monday thru Thursday. In those discussions everyone relates the learning to their real life which makes what we read that much more useful.

I would highly recommend online learning to people who can focus on their own. You have to be self sufficient and be able to self motivate. It is not cheap so make sure it is for you.

Dear Chicago

2010-07-02T12:00:00.002-05:00

Dear Chicago,

Why is nothing 24 hours? You're so boring sometimes! There are very few restaurants, like no stores, some gyms and that is about it. I also feel like bars should be open later. Ohhhh...and my biggest gripe sidewalk seating at bars should be open past like 10:30pm. What a buzz kill when you have to go inside.

Chicago, I <3 you, but lets step it up!

xoxo

Nycole

Taste of Chicago is a crazy time

2010-07-02T09:35:00.001-05:00

On the way to the Taste Wednesday we passed the giant eyeball being worked on. This thing is pretty insane but really pretty cool!! I <3 Chicago weirdness!

Then the next bit of randomness was this. Honestly the Taste of Chicago is pretty cool, mainly because I love people watching. Wednesday was fun. Hairbangers Ball was not as good as they were at our schools fundraiser.

Saw this license plate on the way to the taste. I like! I also super like the car lol!!

First day I went to the Taste the crowd was not bad at all. Second day it was horrible. I went to get a funnel cake, because the Taste is not a complete experience without one and there were about 100 people in line!! One crazy chic who started bitching at my friend because he slightly bumped her. People like that are the reason why people are getting killed everyday in this city. People who got something to prove, like they are the toughest thing around!

Not only are some of the people just rude for no reason, but a god 1/2 of them are totally random as hell! I was sitting there enjoying my funnel cake with my friend and I see a teenager sitting her weird self in a baby stroller. I doubt highly that any baby appreciates your funky butt in their chair. Then there is this girl who is wearing a micro mini walking into the Taste. I saw so many poorly fitting clothes in just two days then I have seen maybe ever. I am inspired to do a Fashion Hell Nos blog. I wish parents would start to look at what their kids wore when they left the house, or not let them buy poorly fitting clothes in the first place.

I heart the Evoque

2010-07-02T01:27:00.003-05:00

Beautiful new car that I will own someday! ~~~~>

Enough said. Before I own this though I want to own a Terrain which is super cute and I have to still rock the GMC brand which is a family thing. When you have a close family member work for a company all their life you totally rep that brand. I have been loving and driving General Motors since 15 1/2!!I hate those little rack things on the top though, I don't want that!

Current Celebrity Crushes

2010-06-26T02:03:00.000-05:00

If you follow my blog you know I'm boy crazy. Here are the two current men who hold my crush ;)

Soccer hottness- Oguchi Onyewu

Serious...this dude is beautiful lol!!

Drake

Not gonna lie, I've loved him since Degrassi. He looks so sweet.

Chipmunk Cheeks

2010-06-23T23:30:00.000-05:00

My chipmunk cheeks are out of this world!! Chipmunk cheeks basically means like it looks like I'm storing food for winter. I'm watching Cedric the Entertainers Urban Circus and I've seen myself a few times and my cheeks are HUGE. Also, couldn't have been a worse hair day!! It was the day of the massive rain storms with windows breaking downtown. I had massive humidity hair! Too funny to watch. This is motivation to get my ass into the gym for sure.

The show was so much fun. I had free RedEye tickets and they weren't great but I was siked to go. I was outside waiting for a friend and all of a sudden a TBS exec came over and gave me AWESOME tickets. Two 6th row center seats. Ced even did a bit in my row!!

I saw myself quite a bit when watching the show. It was kinda cool!

Final Paper...OVER!!

2010-06-22T08:53:00.000-05:00

I am done with my second graduate school class!! Woohoo. I am now just sitting back waiting on my grade and hoping for the best. This picture was the madness at 5am the day before my paper was due! MESSY!! Got 8 weeks of classwork, laptop, sweater, blackberry charger and some water. Notice I was trying to avoid this area.

Keep those fingers crossed that I got a good grade!!

Really? Puerto Rican day parade craziness

2010-06-22T01:50:00.000-05:00

Most definitely one of the craziest things I have seen while in Chicago. During the Puerto Rican day parade my friends and I were driving to our friends party and we pulled up behind this huge truck with turntables and a DJ in the back. The most disturbing part though is that there are children sitting right at the end with the truck bed opened. This is a little insane!

5 hour energy drink...you really do work!!

2010-06-18T03:29:00.000-05:00

Hour One (11pm-12am)-Definitely woken up
Hour Two(12pm-1am)- Can't tell if I'm wide awake or in a weird trance
Hour Three (1am-2am)-Wide awake...it's too quiet in my house. I wish there was a 5 hour motivation drink because I'm up but not writing my paper lol!!
Hour Four (2am-3am)-Wide awake and it's still too quiet. I have slowly begun to do some homework. I may need to take a 2nd energy drink just to stay up for when I actually start working dammit. Eyes hurt but it's from staring at a computer screen ALL DAY! Still awake. Its a really weird feeling.
Hour Five (3am-4am)- Still awake. Maybe I'll finally do some of my paper now. When does the sun come up? I think I'll wait for it like in the old days of college. I hear the birds chirping already!

Master Procrastinator at your service!

2010-06-17T01:26:00.004-05:00

Current Facebook status: I think I'm going to have to sign off Facebook so I can get my paper done. I have officially mastered procrastination. It's too overwhelming to start. Shoving 8 weeks of theories and methods into one well constructed paper is freaking me out lol! By the way the Freak Out Method is one that I coined back in college, I do it before a major paper and wait till the last minute and than get an A. Worth it? I don't know!

So what am I currently doing? Blogging. Hmm well least I'm not on Facebook, BUT I'M NOT DOING MY WORK! I have always been like this, it's nothing new. When it comes to school work I take my sweet time. Why? Not like I do not have enough notice but it's just something I do.

Do female cops overcompensate

2010-06-16T18:54:00.000-05:00

What I want to know is why do most female cops overcompensate for not having a penis, aka not being a male cop. Female cops always seem to have a chip on their shoulder like they have something extra to prove. I think as a society we are at a point where we have accepted cops both male and female, so there is no reason for overcompensation. I have to tell you that that extra attitude and chip on their shoulder only makes me take them even less seriously. Now let me say I do know a female cop or two that doesn't have an attitude that is suppose to take place of a penis, they are just doing their job the way it should be done. I think the attitude is there so that people will take them seriously and they'll seem more tough, but in actuality it seems like someone trying to hard to prove to you that they are something that they really aren't, which is probably a good cop.

I have to say I have gotten a ticket or two in my life, what can I say I was born with a lead foot and country roads to fly down at maximum speed. Until a few months ago I had never been pulled over by a woman cop. Even when men were pulling me over for going 30+ over the speed limit they were at least cordial and professional. I got tickets but I appreciated their professionalism, well not at the moment but years later after the pain of the ticket payment wore off haha. So when I got pulled over a few months ago for what this cop called running a stop sign she was nothing more then a total bitch. First of all, I came to a complete stop, she was angled weird and parked behind a car blocking her full view. She pulls me over and gives me a ticket. You know whatever fine, I'm over that part of it but the fact that she was so damn rude it was ridiculous. I do not need female cops to act like dudes. You do not have a penis, it's ok, in fact really who wants one of those so get over it. Even when you see them walking down the street they walk like high school wrestlers. We do not need to see your masculinity, be a female cop and act like a woman, you'll garner much more respect!!

Settling and getting stuck

2010-06-15T20:30:00.002-05:00

This topic comes to mind after having a conversation with an ex-boyfriend. He was actually a guy I dated in high school, who I haven't spoke with in years. I was 17 years old and he was 21 if I remember right, saucy huh. Anyhow, as soon as we broke up he started dating this other girl, who I believe already had a child. I was definitely over him pretty quickly, but I always felt bad because I always felt like he wasn't happy with the girl. I hate seeing friends unhappy in relationships. It feels like you're losing someone you care about to some type of conformity. Like they think it's some sort of "time" to settle down. Then there are others that settling down just happens to, mainly because kids enter the mix. Anyhow, this guy is in his early 30s now, unmarried with the same woman from 10 years ago, they have three kids together and one of hers from before.

I feel so bad for people who are stuck. But really are we ever stuck or are we just afraid of facing reality? I hate when people put themselves in situations knowing they are settling for less then they want and deserve. A good friend of mine recently told me she is considering dating a man who is rude and mean to her because he has family money and she needs to hurry and have kids. I told her she is so much better than that and she should find happiness. Why would someone voluntarily settle? I admit I have a sincere fear of being alone and would hate to end up without someone. I do not know if I would end up settling though just to avoid it. Settling seems so sad. What if while you settled Mr./Mrs. Right came by and you were already stuck?

I also think a lot of people settle because dating is so frustrating. Maybe it's just me that thinks that dating is frustrating but it really is. I mean you go out on date and after date and meet people who all have their own story that they are crafting so that you'll like them and many times it is only to get something from you. I am pretty frustrated when it comes to dating because I hate being lied to, it just seems so pointless. Not only that but I am known for wearing my heart on my sleeve, and it has taken some serious hits over the past few years. Part of me wants to stop trying because it's exhausting, but I don't want to settle with being alone either.

Why do people settle?

Talk about losing your cool

2010-06-11T10:31:00.002-05:00

Ciara teach me how to do this....

2010-06-09T01:33:00.001-05:00

While I'm in music mode I love the Ciara song...yes it's nasty but it's HOT!!! This girl can dance like no ones business. Sign me up for her work out video!!

Props to Ciara for being one hot ass in shape chic!!

Lyfe Jennings “Statistics”

2010-06-09T01:14:00.002-05:00

There is something about this new Lyfe Jennings song that I really like, maybe the fact that it is so honest and true!! So Lyfe lays out some statistics and then he gives women #4 rules on what to do when they meet those 10% type guys.

25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can’t be faithful
30% of them don’t mean what they say
and 10% of them maybe 20 are gay
That leaves you a 10% chance of ever finding your man (OUCH)

Rule #1Don’t be a booty call! If he don’t respect you girl he gonna forget you girl
Rule #2 If he’s in a relationship and he will cheat on her, then he will cheat on you
Rule #3 Tell him that you are celibate and if he want some of your goodies, he’s gonna have to work for it
Rule #4 Be the person you want to find. Don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime

FULL LYRICS "Statistics"

Alright alright alright yall settle down settle down settle down.

If you don't know where you are this is STATISTICS 101
and I'm your teacher LYFE JENNINGS in the flesh baby.

Books out. Let's go!

[CHORUS]
25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can't be faithful
30% of them don't mean what they say
and 10% of them in maybe 20 is gay

That leaves you a 10% chance of ever finding your man
That means you never paid attention to these words that I said
I'm gonna teach you how expose the 90%
and show you what to do to keep the other 10.

RULE #1
Don't be a booty call
If he don't respect you girl he gon forget you girl

RULE #2
If he's in a relationship
If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

RULE #3
Tell him that you're celibate
And if he wants some of your goodies he gon have to work for it

RULE #4
Be the person you wanna find
Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime

STATISTICS!

15% of all men got a complex
15% of all men don't practice safe sex
20% of them come from homes without a father
and there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward

Something to think about when you're taking a shower
Something to swallow when you're drinking bottled water

I'm gonna teach you how to expose the 90%
and show you what to do to keep the other 10

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Be patient! He's waiting!
You don't gotta settle for that
Leave what is past alone!
Get you a backbone!
Stop being (sorry for) yourself!

Have you no checklist?
It's gonna take patience
Time is still wastin'

Don't be a booty call
If he don't respect you girl he gon forget you girl

If he's in a relationship
If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

Tell him that you're celibate
and if he wants some of your goodies he gon have to work for it.

Be the person you wanna find
Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime.

MTV Movie Award Faves & Not so faves

2010-06-07T15:58:00.000-05:00

MY WINNERS

Not a huge Scarlett fan but I love this look. Very classy and mature.

The Good

Smooth and sexy!

Whitney looks so pretty

Kristen Stewart: I know this one hasn't been popular but I think this is cute, very young and fresh.

Paul Rudd looks nice. Wondering if he botoxs though?

The Bad

So wrong for her body type!! She looks preggers

Jessica's hair is pretty but not feeling the outfit.

Not feeling either of their outfits. Hate his jeans and there is something about the hanging front that I don't like about hers.

This screams young and I think its too young for her to wear. Maybe she just looks older.

Horrible

The WTF

Katy Perry: Just why?? Smurfish!!

It's bad when even Snooki looks better

No thanks, Lindsey.

It's alive. Christina...wouldn't expect better though.

Do not like it. Not even a little.

AGAIN, when Snooki is best dressed there is a PROBLEM.

Seriously?

We are on a break

2010-05-16T21:48:00.000-05:00

Dear Effen Black Cherry Vodka,

You Effed me up last night! I still hurt 24 hours later. It's not you, it's me. I think we should go on a break. (I still love you though).

xoxo

Nycole

P.S. Red Bull....you and I may be completely breaking up. I think this may be because of you. Don't cry...

We want what we can't have

2010-05-09T14:22:00.000-05:00

It is totally true that we want what we cannot have. At least it is true in my case. I do not know if it is my competitive nature or what is it. Maybe a need to prove that I can do it. Either way...what the hell am I thinking. There is one guy, yeah just one that I have always wanted but he is at the tip of my fingers. Not completely gone, but never completely here. I often think, what would I do if I got what I thought I wanted. It would never work we are entirely different and have nothing in common. So even though I know this, I still cannot get over it. It is like I do not want to take the loss or something. I have that winning is everything attitude and it is rearing its evil head here too.

Learning how to date like a man

2010-05-03T21:42:00.000-05:00

Apparently its time I "maned up" and started dating like a man. I know sounds crazy right? I have decided and my ex has told me that I date with too much emotion. I hate to admit it but I think he is right. I always wear my heart on my sleeve and am very honest about what I am thinking. I guess I am just saying too much too quick. I am not blurting out any I Love Yous or anything but I am still saying too much. I do not necessarily know how to learn how to be different but I have to do it.

I am stumped as to why men start out by saying they want a relationship and than they freak when dating starts to get a little too regular. I have to take the proverbial pants off in the relationship, while still keeping my real pants on which we all know is what the guys really want...boo! So by saying I am interested and having a good time spending time with them, they then see that as a weakness or some type of invitation for sex. Or so I am told lol.

I am not sure why I am so worried about dating anyhow I am in the middle of a really difficult class. It is only my second graduate school class and I am already overwhelmed. The teacher is way hard and is really a stickler for grammar which I have still yet to master and I am 27 years old. 27 and a grammar idiot lol! Anyhow, I digress...back to men. Yeah, I do not know what to do about them lol.

Maybe the whole playing hard to get really is not a big ole joke. I always preach honesty and saying what is on my mind, but apparently to a guy hearing that you had fun or are interested in him is scary? I mean I can see it being scary if I had fangs or a hairy upper lip. I can assure you that I have NEITHER. So now what? Time to take the ex's advice and play it cool. Time to focus on school and leave the dating thing alone or at least not put so much of my time and care into it. If I go out with someone then whatever...if it works then whatever. Right? I guess we shall see. 27 and single seems like I am pushing it. I do not want to be old and bitter searching for a man that is for damn sure.

Walmart...the portal to the underworld.

2010-05-01T23:14:00.000-05:00

Before I start I'm not gonna lie I actually do like Walmart but this site is just great....http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/.

Hate when I forget pants...

Alright seriously, is Walmart pants optional?

Someones trying to take something home...and it ain't groceries...

Someone get their grandpa

Again...where the hell are the pants?

This makes me remember my old Sox job because one of the guys use to call this the "ass eating the pants"

Ahhh...looks like she is wearing NO pants!!

This is not good...

what?

pretty lol

AND THE WINNER IS.....

...CONGRATS ON A KILLER MULLET!!!

The Hills & The City...they're back!!

2010-04-27T23:39:00.000-05:00

OMG so I love this show but I was NOT ready to see Heidi and her new plasticness haha. I love how the show started and they were only showing her from behind so there was a unveiling when she was with her mom. Her mom thinks she looks like crap and it is so obvious. Heidi use to be such a pretty girl. What the hell was she thinking?? She looks old and she looks really gross. Plastic surgery is fine to enhance but there was nothing enhancing about what she did.

Ok can I say how jealous I am about the Miami partying it looks like so much fun. I love how Kristen is so not meant to be friends with girls. She seems like a really cool chick!! The girls are all so damn annoying, everything is a drama. I use to like Lo, but she needs to get away from Audrina and Stephanie they are brain dead!!! Hilarious that Stephanie is calling Kristen a "liability", very surprised that she even knows that word. Stephanie is a huge hypocrite. The bulimic and alcoholic is judging someone whose partying and having a good time. I officially have started the season hating those 3 girls!!! TEAM KRISTEN!!!

First of all I HEART KELLY CUTRONE. She is like the reason to watch this show!! Ok on the other end I absolutely HATE Erin. Yes Olivia seems like a total idiot, but Erin is an ubber bitch at least on the show. I love that Kelly is such a hardass but she has such a huge heart. Fun drama to come on this season I love it!!

As soon as the show goes off, on comes Trey Songz....seriously is it legal to be that damn sexy!!! I digressed...but DAMN seriously!!

The mess that is...Jerseylicious

2010-04-19T10:52:00.000-05:00

Yikes is the first thing that comes to mind when watching this show. Do people seriously walk around with tans that ORANGE and hair that HUGE. The episode I'm watching on TV right now the two girls above are getting makeUNDERS, to make them look less foolish. The blonde got her hair "unteased" and the brunette got "untanned". When they were done they looked so much better and like pretty girls. As soon as no one was watching them they rush to a bathroom to change it. All of the reality shows out there that are Jersey based are really giving that city a bad name!!

Class one is coming to an end

2010-04-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

I'm very nervous about my first class in graduate school coming to an end next Saturday. This is week 8, so it's FINALS week. I have a lot of work to do this week and it is also going to be a very busy week at work. I really want to maintain my A....keeping fingers crossed!!

Think happy thoughts for me!

Whoa what the hell is wrong with some men???

2010-04-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

I have seen it before, either men are scared of relationships or they are trying to chain you down right away. For some reason I fail to find the in-between guy who wants to take his time and court me. In my opinion it is such a mistake to rush into something and become to complacent with that person. How can you know you want to marry someone right away? You don't, but I honestly believe some men have ticking clocks too. They just figure that they are done dating and it's time for them to marry regardless of if it's right. Anyhow so in comes the rushed relationship.

Typically I won't talk about dating but honestly this is too hilarious not to share: I met this guy who is super cute and we went on date one which was to a wine bar for some drinks and just to get to know each other. Immediately during the first drink he says he is interested and wants to make a date a few days later. He already had plans with friends so he invited me along, and before we would do dinner. It is pretty flattering when a guy is interested so I did not think too much of it. The day of our plans some personal family matters came up for him so we were going to reschedule. He persists to text me over the next few days and talks about how he wanted me to be the one. I was thinking WTF we went on one mini date, nothing to make life decisions off of. Then out of left field we were texting about doing laundry and all of a sudden he says he wishes I were there in his bed instead of doing laundry. WHOA WHOA WHOA....are you fucking joking me right now?? Seriously I do not know whether to laugh, choke, or die of randomness. First of all I'm not that kind of girl in any way shape or form. I did not come off that way on the date, nothing was hanging out and I wasn't leading him on. My god the date was like an hour just to have some drinks and chat. So I say back something to the effect of are you kidding me, you don't know me that is not how you talk to me. He says well you're my woman, or future woman so why can't we say things like that. Ok so game over....he's deleted. Wow seriously this one is making me want to stop dating. On to the next one....I guess.

Seriously...it's not that easy!!

2010-04-10T12:47:00.000-05:00

After about 4 years of not having cable I move in with a roommate who had to have it so I am fully benefiting from it. I find myself watching a lot of cooking shows (MTV is not as good as I remembered lol), and these people make all the most amazing things. It is driving me nuts that these people keep saying this is quick, this is easy, anyone can do it lol. What?? None of this looks quick, easy or like something I can do haha. Also, I want to know since when did "just a drizzle", mean a huge dumping of olive oil.
I really want to learn to cook some of this stuff the food looks so great and fun. The only thing is cooking extreme things for one is NO FUN! Why cook something that takes an hour just for myself. The funny thing about this is half the stuff these people are using I have NO clue what it is. I need some Cooking 101 ASAP! I also need more cooking tools to make stuff.
I love some of these cooking competition shows its really cool to watch people have cook offs.
Another favorite show of mine is the Jaime Oliver Food Revolution, this guy is putting his heart and soul into changing the way people eat to help them be more healthy. It is very inspiring. Now if only I could learn how to cook so I could be healthy and make it easy :) Any tips?

Do you need a laugh??

2010-04-10T11:12:00.000-05:00

http://www.bluntcard.com/

Ever needed to say something with a card but Hallmark just didn't have the right thing. Well I'm certain this website will have it hahaha. I laughed the entire time I was reading this!!

Here are a few to make you laugh..

...alright go look at the rest on your own!! Enjoy :)

Pet Peeves...we all have them

2010-04-09T22:21:00.002-05:00

We all have pet peeves, here are some of mine:

Do not say you're going to do something and then turn around and not do it
Do not be late
Do not lie, why not just tell the truth (it will set you free right lol)
When hostesses or waitresses seat you next to another table when the rest of the restaurant is empty
People that are rude to waitstaff for no reason
Men who try to rush relationships
BIKE RIDERS IN CHICAGO...they want to follow car rules yet they also want to run traffic lights, dart out in traffic, zig zag between cars. I'm sorry but if you want to be on the street follow car rules properly if not get hit!!
People who act in an unprofessional manor
People who really think they know what they're doing when they are obviously an idiot with no clue
People who do not respect the time of others and time constraints
People who do not appreciate good friendship
People who let their children run around like wild heathens in public
Being tickled
People who want you to talk to their kid or pet on the phone

Just found a website with the longest list of pet peeves, this made me laugh. http://www.getannoyed.com/ Ok so in honor of this site here are some of my faves from the site that I TOTALLY agree with:

Couples who sit on the same side of the booth when no one is on the other side
Being asked my telephone number/account number AFTER I already entered in using the keypad on my phone. I thought I was supposed enter that info to "better assist me".
When you bite into a jelly bean and it's a different flavor than what you thought it was.
Having to go to a UPS / FEDEX office to pickup a package.
When someone leaves their phone number at the end of a long message and they say it so fast you can't understand it and have to listen multiple times to figure it out.
Suburban kids who think they are gangstas.
People who use calculators to figure out tips at restaurants
Speed bumps

One pet peeve they have that I LOVE...when parents have their kids on leashes....cracks me up!!

What type of people do I attract? (I don't agree haha)

2010-04-09T22:07:00.001-05:00

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract artsy people!
You attract models!
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
What type of person do you attract? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Personality Disorder Test

2010-04-09T22:04:00.002-05:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

I Moved!!!

2010-03-29T22:11:00.000-05:00

I just moved after living in my apartment for four and a half years. I am so happy to be out of that apartment and I feel like this gives me a fresh start. I have a roommate now, which is super new because I have only had a roommate before for one school year. That went well for the most part so I have high hopes. Now that I am moved I want to focus on school and get back into working out. I have been in my head too much this past month due to issues at my job and I'm done dealing with drama. Sometimes you have to look at a job as just that.

This weekend my wonderful mother and sister came to visit which was really awesome. It was much needed family time and we got the most out of it. My sister also brought her boyfriend and he is a very nice boy. I'm very happy for her!! We spent time running errands, eating out and just relaxing in the new place. They got to hang out with my neighbor who is a long time friend and that was a fun time and a very long night lol. When family leaves I always get so sad. I wish that Indiana was not in the middle of Ohio and Illinois lol. The trip isn't too bad but it's not something to do every weekend. I will be planning a trip home sometime over the summer. My sister will be taking her state boards for massage therapy and I know she'll do great so we can celebrate. I hope that she'll be back around her birthday also!!

After my family left I went out to find a desk and a chair because I need to make my second room more of an office and not just a room with tons of boxes ha. I have to start going through everything and hide all the boxes in the second closet. My closet is heaven in my main room!! I got a cute small desk, which I still have to put together and I got this really cute pink chair which you see in the picture that I made when I got home.

Now it's time to do some more homework and get some readings done. Grad school....crazy!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2010-03-17T13:40:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Party hard, but party safe.

I'm turning into one of those girls...crap!

2010-03-14T20:03:00.000-05:00

Growing up I was the tom boy.I'm turning into the girl that daydreams about marriage and a big beautiful wedding. I have always wanted a beautiful wedding, and have even known my wedding colors since I was in college but I'm starting to think about it a lot more!! In the below post you saw some potential husbands, now I'll share some more lol :)

Dream Dress

Dream Colors
Maroon, Black, White

Cool Decor

Cool Cake

Dream Rings

Seriously not even dating someone but a girls allowed to dream right?!!

I'm boy crazy...

2010-03-14T19:51:00.000-05:00

IF I COULD MARRY....

A RAPPER it'd be Xzibit. He has the best laugh ever and a huge heart. He's been on Extreme home makeover a bunch of times. It's the laugh though I love it!!

A MOVIE STAR it'd be Lance Gross....seriously no explanation needed

Then my second MOVIE STAR husband would be...Idris Elba OR Gerard Butler...cause we all know Hollywood marriages don't last. Gotta line up #2!!

MALE ATHLETES David Beckham, and really any tall buff hot man with tons of tattoos haha!

ONLY Beckham downside....he'd ALWAYS be better dressed then me lol. His style is insane...love it!!

Charles Woodson (and he's a Wolverine)

Speaking of Wolverines....Braylon...sexy!

Darren Sharper

Seriously this could go on for days...I'm a tad boy crazy!!

Where have I been....

2010-03-14T00:40:00.000-06:00

I haven't had an opportunity to post IN WEEKS. These past few weeks have been very intense. I started graduate school a few days before the first of March and I'm knee deep in school work and regular work. Before I started graduate school I was really scared that I wouldn't be able to handle it, or that I wouldn't like it. So far I'm really enjoying it and am handling it ok. It keeps me really busy though. I am also moving in two weeks and haven't really packed a thing. I'm horrible at packing and will save it all till the absolute last minute lol!!

While I have been gone I have been struggling with the notion of "What's next?". This year has been pretty exciting for me, a lot of new things coming my way. Overall I have really tried to have a positive outlook on life and what life holds for me personally. Sometimes I worry that I'm stuck in a spot that I should get out of quickly, and other times I want to wait and ride the wave to see if things start to pull out of the rut they are in.

More posts of substance coming soon..