Thursday, January 23, 2014

Technology Has Changed the Face of Dating

Technology is both, the most amazing, and the worst possible thing that could have happened to dating and relationships. With technology came options. On one side of the coin, we now have all of these options that we can utilize to meet new people and get to know them; enter online dating and texting. On the other side of the coin, we have something that consumes our time, makes conversations less personal, and makes infidelity easier to get away with. I have had both positive and negative experiences with technology when it was involved in my dating life. 

I have to say that the best relationship I have had, was with a guy I met online. He lived in another state, but was planning on a move to Chicago, so apparently he started girlfriend looking ahead of time. Gotta love a man that is proactive and thinking ahead, right? Anyhow, we talked every day on the phone, FaceTime and via text. In that time, because we weren’t able to actually hang out, we spent so much time getting to know each other which gave us this amazing bond. I have technology to thank, for not only letting me meet this guy that I otherwise never would have met, but for also helping me talk to and see him every day. When we finally met, about a month into talking and getting to know each other it was completely easy because it felt like I knew everything about him. Unfortunately, technology doesn’t cure distance, and when push came to shove he wasn’t moving here quick enough and we couldn’t travel enough to sustain a relationship. Because of technology, I am open to meeting a guy that lives in another part of the US. I do not think my Mr. Right has to live within a 5 mile radius, I’d never limit myself like that, and with technology I don’t have to.

Now on the flip side, technology can really stunt the dating, or courting process. Texting specifically has taken away a level of personalization and can lead to a lot of meaningless, and repetitive small talk.  When I am getting to know someone online I will move to text messaging rather quickly, which in turn leads to conversation that lacks depth. When texting back and forth with someone, I often times lose interest quickly because our conversation is recycled every day. How many times can you respond to; “good morning”, “how are you doing today”, “how was your day”, and “what are you up tonight” to name just a few of my daily favorites. You can do it for maybe a week and then you’re done. To remedy this, I have been trying to either FaceTime or talk to someone on the phone to gauge their sanity level and then move on to meeting pretty quickly. I like to get meeting out of the way. Once you do it, you know if it’s worth more conversations and more dates.

Oddly enough, for me technology brought someone far away closer to me, but when it comes to men who are close in proximity, who text too much it can lead to me pushing them away. Use technology in your dating life and relationships with caution.
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