Saturday, July 17, 2010

Men who choose not to be fathers

This is a follow up to my letter to my father (see previous blog). My father chose not to be a father, and my mom let him make that choice. I struggle with whether or not I think that is ok. Should a man have a choice as to whether or not he will be in his child's life? When a man and woman sleep together they are both equally making the decision to have sex (duh, I know). Most do not consider children in the process. Well when a girl ends up pregnant she ultimately can choose to keep the child or abort. A man at this point has no choice, his life is wavering while he waits for the girl to make a decision. He could choose to run for the hills, but then he is a bad guy in everyones eyes. I have always questioned if a guy should have an option. If a woman can ultimately choose whether or not to have an abortion when she finds out she is pregnant, she is deciding whether or not she wants to be a mom. Should a guy have a choice? Is the only answer that people just should not be having sex unless they are ready to be parents? That is beyond unrealistic, the world is not going to stop having sex because they fear pregnancy. So what is the answer? Does a guy deserve a choice?

Sometimes I think maybe he should have a choice, even in the situation I'm in, I still think that. What would ideally happen if he made the choice was that he would then be available to contact later on in life just so the child could know who he is. I know that once a man is in the child's life there are financial expectations, and maybe that is why some run, or maybe its because they just made a mistake or aren't ready. Who knows.

Also, on the other side, when a girl makes a choice to abort should a man have a say? Unfortunately he really does not. You cannot force a girl to carry a child for 9 months.

I'm really curious how other people feel about these situations...share your thoughts please!!

**Took the picture of some random website. Googled "father", so in no way is this man related to the post. He is a hottie though ;) wink wink!
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