Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Settling and getting stuck

This topic comes to mind after having a conversation with an ex-boyfriend. He was actually a guy I dated in high school, who I haven't spoke with in years. I was 17 years old and he was 21 if I remember right, saucy huh. Anyhow, as soon as we broke up he started dating this other girl, who I believe already had a child. I was definitely over him pretty quickly, but I always felt bad because I always felt like he wasn't happy with the girl. I hate seeing friends unhappy in relationships. It feels like you're losing someone you care about to some type of conformity. Like they think it's some sort of "time" to settle down. Then there are others that settling down just happens to, mainly because kids enter the mix. Anyhow, this guy is in his early 30s now, unmarried with the same woman from 10 years ago, they have three kids together and one of hers from before. 

I feel so bad for people who are stuck. But really are we ever stuck or are we just afraid of facing reality? I hate when people put themselves in situations knowing they are settling for less then they want and deserve. A good friend of mine recently told me she is considering dating a man who is rude and mean to her because he has family money and she needs to hurry and have kids. I told her she is so much better than that and she should find happiness. Why would someone voluntarily settle? I admit I have a sincere fear of being alone and would hate to end up without someone. I do not know if I would end up settling though just to avoid it. Settling seems so sad. What if while you settled Mr./Mrs. Right came by and you were already stuck? 

I also think a  lot of people settle because dating is so frustrating. Maybe it's just me that thinks that dating is frustrating but it really is. I mean you go out on date and after date and meet people who all have their own story that they are crafting so that you'll like them and many times it is only to get something from you. I am pretty frustrated when it comes to dating because I hate being lied to, it just seems so pointless. Not only that but I am known for wearing my heart on my sleeve, and it has taken some serious hits over the past few years. Part of me wants to stop trying because it's exhausting, but I don't want to settle with being alone either.


Why do people settle?

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