Sunday, January 31, 2010

I never learned patience, maybe because I'm a control freak?

I've always been impatient, I need instant gratification. I hate asking a question and having to wait for an answer, or going somewhere like a car wash and waiting for my car to be done. I'm not sure why this is, maybe I'm just bad at entertaining myself but who knows. Right now I'm sitting at the car wash, knowing that this is going to be a long wait so its my own fault for pulling in. Least they do it for me though, and its not one of the car washes you sit in and the huge washers attack your car. I'm even more claustrophobic then I am inpatient. I think it all comes down to me being somewhat of a control freak, I don't like that there are things out there that can effect me that I've got no control over. I can't choose when my cars done so I'm impatient which is stemmed from a lack of control. 

Now that we are on the topic of me being a control freak I can confess that its led me to have some pretty crippling fears. The biggest one being I'm terrified to fly. On the flip side, I'm not scared to drive, although highways give me some anxiety. Again, its a control thing. I never use to be such a weirdo when I was younger. I think I was much more go with the flow. I didn't fly for the first time until after 9/11, so that put a state of fear in me ill never be able to cure. Especially with the constant fear of weirdos wanting to crash planes and hide bombs in their underwear. 

I don't want flying to ruin opportunities for me. In 2005, I had an opportunity to go to the world series in houston with the White Sox when I worked there. Can you believe for a split second I actually considered not going? I went, it turned out fine, but I'm convinced that its because I flew on a charter plane with friend and was asleep!! 

Where I work now I had a chance to take a free trip to Spain but I let other work obligations convince me not to go. I really probably could go, but I'm being a chicken shit!! I'm determined to go on a trip this year somewhere. Maybe Mexico, NY or Miami. I have friends in the latter two and Mexico would just be fun, an all inclusive deal would be awesome.
Share this Post Share to Facebook Share to Twitter Email This Pin This Share on Google Plus Share on Tumblr
Post a Comment
Join me on Facebook Follow me on Twitter Follow me on G+ Follow me on Linkedin